A Safe Place
by HavishamWard
Summary: AU- I need to find a way... I need my family. They will know what to do. They will help me get out of this mess. I need to leave him. I need a safe place...
1. Chapter 1 Leaving

**A/N: 5/31 I am currently going through every chapter and fixing things up a bit. I've really neglected this story and before continuing, I would like to revise. Before I update a new chapter, you might like to re-read the story first. I am very sorry about the mistakes and sloppyness. Hope you continue reading. I am just not very pleased with a few things so I'll be patching it up all day today! Thanks**

**C**hapter 1: Katniss

"Ahh, fuck!" he yells with his voice harsh in my ear, "Do you like when I fuck you like this, Katniss?"

A squeak that hopefully sounds like a yes falls from my lips and he pounds inside me. It's painful and I hate it. I want it to stop, but the last time I ask him to; he slammed me into the wall and took me harder.

He takes me exactly how he wants me and unfortunately, I have lost the fight in me.

My submission means that he will be less forceful… less rough and less hurtful. Hopefully.

I bite the inside of my cheek when I feel his movements becoming quicker and I know he's almost finished. His rough hand is forcing my head into the pillow. He likes it this way; me laying on my stomach with him on top of me while he moves violently inside me, not caring whether or not it feels good for me. He says it's tight and it feels the best for him. I thank God that it always ends quickly. My husband comes home drunk, angry and horny. And I give him exactly what he wants every single time.

It wasn't always like this. When I first met him, he was sweet. He was the first man I had ever been intimate with and at the time... I thought the sex was great. He was once kind and generous, always making me laugh. He was handsome, wonderful in every way and I always knew I would never want to be with anyone other than him. At least I thought so at the time. He was perfect until our wedding just over one year ago. Our wedding night was the first night he hit me. Of course he apologized and of course I believed him when he said it wouldn't happen again. I had to believe him. He had been my boyfriend since the start of my sophomore year of college, I've known him for three years. He's the only man I've ever kissed, the only man who has ever seen me naked. Now I realize that I was just stupid, falling in love at the age of twenty, quitting school because he wanted to get married, promising me that he would forever take care of me.

Like I said, I was stupid.

It started with slaps across the face and then he became very demanding, possessive. I used to be a waitress, first back home in Pineville and then at a small diner in Boston. I enjoyed it because of the people... most of them sixty years or older, but I loved the interaction. And there was one couple that came into the diner in Boston every morning for coffee. I found out later that they were married for fifty years and I would watch them leave every day holding hands. I knew then that I wanted that kind of relationship. And Cato was there... and he said all the right things and spoiled me with gifts and I hung on every word because I wanted the fairy tail love. But then I knew I was wrong. He forced me to quit my job first; saying that I didn't need to work anymore because he wanted me to keep the house tidy, meals on the table when he came home. He once mentioned taking care of the kids while he was at work and I felt sick at the thought of bringing an innocent child into all this. Then he made me cease all contact with family and friends, especially those back in Pineville. He never said so, but I think he felt threatened by Gale, who was my best friend. Gale was tough and I'm pretty sure he saw right through Cato. Gale, of course, warned me that something just wasn't right about Cato and I, a horrible best friend, refused to listen to a word he said. Cato fooled my family just as much as he fooled me, only my family doesn't even know where or how I am. So my new life became a prison... no phone calls, no unauthorized guests. I couldn't even go grocery shopping without his permission and everything we ate was according to what he liked best, whether I liked it or not. I was his wife… to cook, clean, to fuck and then to beat if he felt like I had deserved it.

He gets up from the bed and slaps me hard and painfully on my ass, right on top of the briuse that I received two days ago when he pushed me into the night stand. I turn my head away from him so he won't see my tears, not that he's looking for them. Over the last year, he has made it clear that he doesn't even care that I cry, but when he does notice, his temper flares and it's a rough night for everyone. I hear him walk to the bathroom and shut the door behind him with a snap. I let out a few shaky breaths that I always seem to hold when I'm in his presence. I take this moment to compose myself, knowing that he wouldn't be pleased returning to our bed to see my tears. I've cried before and it's only earned me harsher beatings.

For months, I wondered what I was doing wrong. What could I possibly be doing to make him so angry when he was so sweet and kind before? What am I doing differently now than when we were dating? Finally, it was beaten into me that there was something severely wrong with my husband; it had nothing to do with me.

Suddenly the bathroom door opens. Cato walks towards the bed where I am still laying there naked and unable to move.

"Katniss."

Oh no… I know that voice; low and menacing. Cato can slap you across the face with just his words. I can already tell that he isn't happy about something.

I turn over and look at him and I immediately know that I did something wrong. His blue eyes are blazing, but his body language says that he's trying to remain calm. He's taking deep breaths.

"Come with me," he says, holding a hand out for me to take.

I nod and take his hand, knowing that any form of noncompliance is a forbidden. My body aches as I stand, my hip and my ribs screaming in pain, but I hide it the best I can. He leads me into the bathroom and when we're standing in the middle of the room, he stops.

"You see anything wrong here?" he asks, his voice calm, but I can still hear the fury behind it.

I look around the bathroom, desperate to find what was out of place quickly so I can fix it and go back to bed without a fresh bruise. I cleaned meticulously all day today, like every other day. The floor was mopped, toilet cleaned, sink cleaned. I even went through the cupboards and straighted all the medicine and beauty products so the labels all faced the same direction. I even scrubbed the shower... and I finally spot my mistake; I forgot to close the shower curtain after cleaning it because I wanted to make sure it dried properly before Cato came home from work. He likes the shower curtain closed at all times, says that it looks neater. I quickly close it before turning back to him, my eyes trained on my feet. Because the last nine months, I haven't been able to look him in the eye.

"Pay a little more attention next time," he says before stepping aside and allowing me to go back to bed.

I'm awake late into the night, imagining and dreaming of being away from him and praying that my escape that I've been planning for months goes on without him hunting me down before I even leave the city. I almost got away once… I made it all the way to the county line before he found me waiting at a bus stop. I was so close. I had a bag packed and had paid for a bus ticket with loose change that I would find all over our apartment and in the laundry within six months. But that night, I learned that if I ever tried to escape from this life again, he would surely kill me.

But as soon as I woke up from that beating, which broke a rib and three fingers, not to mention left me unconcious for who knows how long on the kitchen floor, I realized that there's no way that I can't try leaving him again. Even if it kills me. Surely, being dead would be better than this… Anything would be better than this.

I had a wonderful life before all this. I had happily married parents, a little sister, and many friends. I was a popular girl in high school, good grades, captain on the volleyball team. I even sang in talent contests. I think about my family every day… I wonder what they're doing. Prim is eighteen now and I'm sure she's getting ready to go off to college. I kept track of her birthday on the calendar and it passed about a month ago. That day, I made cupcakes and put a candle on one and sang to her in my head, imagining her laughing at my sloppy version of baked goods. Then when I finished singing, she pulled me into a tight hug and kissed my hair like she always did when we would say goodnight. I wish I could see her now; even though it's only been a year and a half since the last time, I imagine that she's taller. She's probably gorgeous like our mother, blond with perfect skin. Before the wedding, she had given her long hair to 'locks of love' and her hair was cut so short, almost to her ears. I remember holding her on the bathroom floor as she cried about how much Rory Hawthorne had told her he didn't like it short. She always braided her long hair in two braids and he always pulled on them just to irritate her. We eventually started laughing about it and Rory showed up at the house later and took her out for ice cream. I knew she wanted to be a doctor someday, but I don't know if that had changed in the last year since I've heard her voice or not.

I wonder how my mother and father are doing… Dad worked at the foundry and was a volunteer firefighter. Mom worked as nurse at the clinic in town, but was also very active at the school we grew up going to. They were always the best parents; always coming to every school event, with our picture pins stuck on their jackets, showing just how proud they were of their daughters. I wonder what they would say if they saw me now. My father would surely kill Cato and my mother would sit me down for hot water and honey, saying it would all be okay. I wonder what Gale and Johanna are doing now… I'm sure they would be together maybe with a kid on the way. It wouldn't surprise me at all… they had been inseparable since high school. I can still hear their angry, yelling voices nagging at each other just to turn it into something sweet and sexy the next moment and they would disappear for a while, just to show each other how much they love to fight.

And when things were really tough; when I cried myself to sleep at night, I would think about him. But this boy... I am ashamed to admit it, is not my husband. Surely, he's not a boy anymore, but probably a man now. It's been five years since I've seen him. I don't even know if he's alive; the last news I heard was that basic training was going very well for him. That's the other thing about not being able to keep in touch with people from back home. I know nothing about the boy that took me to senior prom; if he's alive, if he's home and well, maybe he's found a girl and married her. He would undoubtedly treat her like a princess because Peeta Mellark was always the sweetest guy in high school, not to mention very attractive with his curly blond hair that hung over his forehead, right above those bright blue almond shaped eyes. And that smile... I still have dreams about that crooked smile with the dipple in the left cheek.

I want to go home... and I stare at the clock all night, but I don't see the numbers; just the bright blue eyes that don't belong to my husband.

The next morning, while sitting at breakfast, Cato tells me what he wants me to pack in his lunch for work and what he expects for supper when he gets home tonight. As I'm packing is sandwich for his lunch, I'm also preparing is breakfast... which is always two eggs (They better be over-easy) and a slice of toast with raspberry jam.

"I bought you something," he says after a few minutes of silence.

He stands and walks over to a wrapped box that's lying by the door. I inwardly cringe... another gift to show me how sorry he is. He brings it to the table and hands it to me. I smile to show him that I'm thankful for his never ending gifts, especially after receiving multiple blows to the face after not having his dinner ready by exactly seven 'o'clock a few nights ago.

I open it and pull out a sheer, tiny, red, barely there, nightgown. I smile up at him, but on the inside, I feel sick. I feel nauseous. I definitely don't want to wear this… I don't want to wear this for _him._

"I want you to be wearing that when I get home tonight," he tells me and I know by his tone, he's serious.

I nod, "I will."

While he eats, I carefully make the bed just how he likes it and lay out my new gift to show him that I'm appreciative of it. I plaster on a smile all morning before he's finally ready to leave for work.

"I'll see you at seven, Katniss," he says, and with a kiss on my bruised cheek, he's out the door.

I hold my breath while he walks to the car and backs out of the driveway. Before I spring into action, I think about how that could have been the last time I ever see Cato Spencer.

I change into jeans and black v-neck shirt, pulling on a grey zip up over top and a Boston Reds baseball cap over my hair. I leave my hair down, but tuck it into my sweatshirt, knowing that I could be easily recognizable in my long braid. I tie my shoes tightly, as though preparing to run a long distance. I shove what little cash I've been saving into my pocket and grab my photo identification.

I look around the apartment. There's nothing here I want or need to take with me. The only things I need are waiting for me… twelve hours away.

I check my pockets again for just the right about for a bus ticket before I leave out the back way of the apartment.

I'm going home.


	2. Chapter 2 She's Back

Chapter 2: Peeta

_Operation Iraqi Freedom_

_I hear nothing but wind, exploding bombs, screaming voices and gunfire. _

_I see nothing but sand, dirt and people running. _

_And camouflage, lots of camouflage. _

_I smell nothing but blood and sweat._

_I see the same thing every night… squad is working in Bagdad. We've been on this assignment for over six months and this is my last term serving. It's my third and last. I'm going home tomorrow. _

_Women and children are running and screaming, trying desperately to take cover of their own government's bombings. This civilian neighborhood has been targeted by the Iraqi government for years. This is a wealthy neighborhood and its people were valuable, until now._

_There is a fight between Iraqi soldiers and the civilians of this neighborhood and we, as the United States Marine Corps, were sent here to make an end. We were sent here to help these innocent civilians. _

_I lay on my stomach at the top of one of the tallest buildings in this part of the city. Below me are hundreds of people yelling to get out. My rifle is in front of me. Through my scope, I search the buildings around me for possible threats to civilians._

"_Stone building, upper left window, three targets, at your three 'o'clock," Boggs says in my ear piece._

_With all the noise, I wouldn't be able to hear him without my earpiece. Between the bombings, the screams, the gunfire, I wouldn't hear a thing otherwise._

_I look at my three, like he said. I see it. I see them._

_I try not to think of them as people… I ignore the fact that they could have families waiting for them at home. I ignore the fact that they could have a special picture in their pocket of the girl they will always love._

_Three Iraqi soldiers are throwing grenades out the upper window of what looks like a rundown factory._

"_Got it," I confirm while zeroing in on my three targets._

"_Take your shot," Boggs commands. _

_I breathe in deeply before I pull the trigger of my rifle. I watch as my first target goes now within seconds._

"_Target one down," I tell Boggs._

_I take aim again, this time at target two, before I take another deep breath and pull the trigger._

"_Target two down," I confirm._

_I take aim at the third target and repeat the same steps._

"_Target three down," I confirm once more._

"_All clear," Boggs says._

_I double check our surroundings through my scope. We are in the clear. And I take the moment and I reach into my front pocket beneath my bulletproof vest and pull out my most prized possession, a picture. It's old, from my high school prom. It's the only picture I have of her. I flatten it out and hold it to my lips, kissing the face of the girl in the picture with me._

_Katniss, I miss you._

My eyes snap open as I jerk awake, looking around for any signs of danger. But it's all clear; I'm on the couch of my small house… I'm home in South Carolina.

I've been home for six months now and I'm still not quite used to being here. Everything is exactly the same that it was before, but at the same time, everything has changed. I help my father run the bakery. I am in charge of ordering supplies and ingredients and I am also in charge of the cakes. I am also always on call as a fire fighter for our county. Everyday it's the same… same routine, same customers, same everything. But my doctors keep telling me that it's a good thing. Routine is good, it's necessary for improvement.

After my last term in Iraq, I would get these strange episodes. Every Marine is required for checkups with psychologists to make sure we are "sane" enough to go back to a normal life after seeing what we've seen… doing what we've done. What we can't take back. I would have flashbacks… I would always be back in Iraq, with my squad, in the heat, in the sand, on top of a building making sure the people below me are safe. Anyone looking suspicious I was ordered to take them out. I was good at it. I was able to easily distinguish who was there to cause trouble and who was innocent.

Except for that one time…

I sigh heavily and run my hands through my hair, admitting defeat.

I get up and head for the bathroom, knowing there is no chance that I would be falling back to sleep today. It's almost four already and I could go into the bakery early to help my brothers with the bread. I set the water to cold… after showering for three years with only cold water in Iraq, a person gets used to it. Standing underneath the flowing water, I am reminded of what woke me.

Katniss Everdeen, the most beautiful woman I've ever known. Katniss Everdeen isn't her name anymore of course… Gale's told me her new name, but I try to forget about the fact that she belongs to someone else. Katniss and I grew up together, in the same class since Kindergarten and I've been in love with her ever since. She never knew how I felt about her because I never told her. I never told anyone, but few people have already guessed. It wasn't like I was ever hiding it, I just wasn't running through the halls shouting my never ending love for her.

At the end of senior year, after enlisting into the Marine Corps, I finally had the guts to ask her to prom. She said yes and I still think it was the best night of my entire life. For the few hours we spent together, I made her laugh, we danced, and she kissed my cheek when I dropped her off at home. I can still feel the burning of her lips after five years. I knew she was going to college, some fancy place in Boston. And I was going into the Marines. A relationship wasn't a good idea so I never did anything more than take her to prom and admire her from afar my entire life. I had always hoped that if I returned from Iraq, I would ask her out for dinner and maybe a movie. That hope is what had gotten me through the years that I spent there.

I returned, damaged, but alive and determined to finally make her mine. Then I learned that she had gotten married after meeting some guy in college. That information was hard for me to grasp, something about it didn't seem right to me. Of course, I've never seen the guy, don't even know his name. But I have just always had that feeling… Maybe it's the gossip around town that makes me feel that way. Katniss was always a popular person and very loving and kind. Everyone loved her. Now, people don't seem to want to mention her name. It's almost as if she died in some horrible accident. Maybe it's the way her parents look whenever something reminds them of their oldest daughter. John Everdeen is on call with me for the fire station. People used to ask him how she's been and his face would suddenly lose color and he would shrug. I found out later that he had no idea how his daughter was doing. Maybe it's the way Prim, Rory, Gale and Johanna look when they're seen together walking around town. It's like there's something missing for them… and what's missing is Katniss. I feel that way too. This town isn't the same without Katniss Everdeen in it.

A million possibilities cross my mind when I think about what could have happened to her. What would make a girl who loved her family, loved her home, loved her friends, loved her job… what would it take to make this girl just disappear? No one knows if she's dead or alive. If she is alive, where the hell is she? And why the hell is she hiding? I give up on these thoughts for now, knowing that I will be asking myself all these questions every day for the rest of my life…

Later that morning, I'm at the bakery with my oldest brother, Ty and my father. We work together well and since I've been back, they don't badger me for information like some other nosy people in this town do. It's an understanding for us Mellark men. We grew up without a mother; Jeanie left when I was only two years old and as far as I know, my father hasn't had any contact with her since. And that's okay... my father raised us three boys on his own and we all turned out alright. Ty is married to Heather with two kids, Kyle and Kimmie, after serving twice in Iraq, about five years before I went. Then there's Billy, who's living in Charleston with is long-time girlfriend, Laurel. He did one term in Iraq before he was medically excused because he ended up breaking his back. Dad did three terms in Afganistan years ago before we were even born, before he even met Jeanie. So it's an understanding in out household that we've all seen similar things so if someone is having a bad day, then it's best just to leave each other be for a while.

I'm working on the last minute touches of a birthday cake when the door chimes, signalling that we have a customer.

"Hey, there's my favorite baker!"

I look up to see my friend Finnick striding towards me. I can't help but notice the extra bounce in his step… of course his wedding is coming closer, just a few weeks away, so he's probably just thinking about that. Finn and Annie met when she moved here from Kentucky to live with her aunt and uncle after her parents died when she was in junior high. I still remember the first day she cam to our third period English class and Finnick, normally loud and cocky, was noticably quieter. I think he fell in love with her that very day, but it took her alot longer to figure it out.

"Morning, Finn," I say, not looking up from my cake, which design is proving to be more difficult than I thought.

"Nice cake," he says, dipping his finger in a bowl of icing.

I look up at him and give him a glare, but he just smiles back. He does this every day. He works at the insurance company down the street.

When I don't say anything, he continues to speak, "so drinks at Abernathy's tonight?"

I nod, not taking my eyes off my work. He's used to me being like this… focusing on my work, making sure it's precise and meticulous. He is also used to my grumpy mood. I've been this way since serving in Iraq and of course since I returned, finding that I've missed my opportunity with the one thing I had always wanted.

"It's going to be a good night, lots to celebrate…" he says after watching me work for a few minutes.

I look up at him finally and give him a smile, "yeah, your wedding's only a few more weeks away."

It's my job as Best Man to be supportive.

He smiles that huge smile, "that's not what we're celebrating."

I look at him, confused, wondering what I've missed. This is a small town, surely I would have heard that one of our other friends have gotten engaged or having a baby or anything else worth celebrating.

He speaks when he sees that I have no clue what we're celebrating…

"Annie was working late at the gas station last night… The late bus came through and someone got off," he pauses, that huge smile still plastered to his face, "Katniss Everdeen is back in town."


	3. Chapter 3 Home

Chapter 3: Katniss

It's dark out when the bus driver shakes me awake. She's a nice lady, we've been chatting for six hundred miles. She could see right through me… She knew exactly what I was doing the moment I had gotten on her bus back in Boston. She didn't ask me any questions though and for that I am thankful. We talked about the weather, about crazy drivers on the road, about food… I had told her that I was dying for a cheeseburger after not having one for over a year. At the last bus stop, she came back with one for me, along with a diet coke. I tried to give her a few dollars to pay her back, but she wouldn't take a dime. At all three bus stops between Boston and Pineville, South Carolina, I stayed in my seat. I was painfully aware that I could be caught at any moment. He could find me at any moment. I think Sae, the bus driver, knew that too. So she got me food, which I took gratefully after feeling a low rumble in my stomach. My mouth watered as I unwrapped my cheeseburger. I savored every single bite.

When we arrive in Pineville, I freeze at the last step of the bus, my heart beating rapidly in my chest. As happy as I am to be back, I'm completely frightened and embarrassed to look at anyone.

"Good luck there, girlie," Sae says from behind me.

I look back at her and see that she's smiling at me, nodding her head encouragingly.

I take one more deep breath before I step off the bus in my old hometown.

I turn back to look at her, "Thank you, Sae," I say to her and for the first time in a long time, I smile.

I watch as the bus pulls away and speeds down the road onto the next stop in Charleston. I'm right at the end of town and I take a look at the gas station behind me. It's the only one in town and I remember all the times I put gas in my car here… when I had a car, when I could drive, when I was free.

I open the doors and the clerk is shocked when she sees she has a customer this late at night, almost one in the morning. And she's even more shocked when she figures out who her customer is. And her voice startles me.

"Katniss? Katniss Everdeen?" the clerk says, her voice filled with shock.

I look up at the girl and I recognize her immediately. She was on the volleyball team with me in high school, Annie Cresta. I give her a small smile, but keep my head ducked down, attempting to keep my bruised face hidden. We stand in silence for a few minutes… she is too shocked to see me to think of something to say and I'm too afraid to say anything or for her to see the other side of my face. After a brief moment, I decide that Annie was always very nice and people are bound to find out about this anyways... so I swallow the rest of my pride that I have left.

"C-can I use your phone?" I finally ask, pulling my gaze from the floor and looking up at her.

She gasps in shock at the sight of my face, bruised and swollen, but immediately collects herself, knowing that it would be horrible for me to explain where this black eye and purple cheek came from.

"O-of course," she says finally, snatching up the cordless phone from its place on the counter.

She hands it to me and I dial the number I've been dreaming of dialing since my wedding day.

"Hello?" a tired voice answers after several rings.

I am speechless… I haven't heard his voice in so long.

"Hello? Anyone there?" he says, a little worried now.

I listen for a minute as someone in the background asks who is calling this late.

"I don't know, honey, I can't hear them," my father tells my mother, "Hello, hello? Anyone there?"

Just when I hear that he's going to hang up the phone, I'm able to speak, "D-daddy?"

There's a moment of shocked silence on the other end, "Kat? Katniss, is that you?"

I smile, letting tears fall down my face as my voice quivers, "yes… yes, it's me."

"Where are you? Is everything alright, sweetheart? We haven't heard from you in so long," his voice is filled with happiness and I can hear my mother in the background begging to speak to me.

"I-I'm okay…" I say unconvincingly, trying to compose myself, "I, uh... I'm alright."

There's a pause before he speaks again, "That-that's good, baby…"

Another silence…

"Daddy, will you come get me?"

He doesn't hesitate, "Yeah, where are you?"

"I'm at the station across town," I tell him, "I-I took a bus…"

"Okay, stay on the phone with your mother, sweetheart," my dad tells me, "I'm on my way."

I let out a breath that I didn't know I was holding. Was it always that simple? I could have just called him and said 'come get me' and within a few hours, he would have been there… probably with his shotgun, but he would have came and got me either way.

"Kat?" my mother's voice says and I can hear the tears that quickly fall from her eyes. Her voice is raspy with sleep and being startled awake.

"Hey, mama," I say, beginning to cry again too.

I take a look over at Annie, who is mixing coffee over by the pots, completely ignoring my conversation.

"Katniss, are you alright?" she asks quickly, "And don't you lie to me."

I take a deep breath, knowing she always has the way of knowing if I'm lying or not…

"No... no, mama, I'm not alright."

There's a silence that follows and for a moment I think she's going to start yelling, demanding answers of why I haven't called or come to visit or anything for over a year. But she doesn't.

"Okay," she says finally, as though she's known all along that something wasn't right.

We don't say anything else for a while; just listen to each other breathe on the other end of the line.

I see an old truck pull into the parking lot of the gas station and my heart skips a beat.

"Mama, daddy's here now," I tell her, wiping the last of my tears, "I'm coming home."

I hang up the phone and hand it back to Annie as quickly as possible, "Thanks, Annie," I tell her before running out the door.

My father steps out of the truck and runs to me, pulling me into his large arms when I get close enough. I've never seen him cry before. He is the strongest person I know, the bravest. He looks exactly the same as I remember; tall, dark hair like mine and very tanned skin. He already has an olive skin tone, which I inherited from his side of the family, but I can tell he's been out in the sun alot too. The only thing that's noticibly different are the few streaks of grey along his hairline.

"Daddy," I cry softly into his chest while he clings to me, "I'm so sorry!"

"Shhh… it's alright, baby," he tells me, patting the top of the ridiculous hat I'm wearing.

He pulls away to look at me, lifting the hat from my head. I look down immediately, ashamed, knowing that what he's about to see is going to cause him to blow a gasket. I hear his breath hitch and he tips my head up to look at him so he's able to see the very large bruise that covers most of the left side of my face.

He doesn't say anything for a minute, but I can see the anger in his eyes and I watch his jaw clench and unclench.

"C'mon," he says finally, pulling me over to the passenger's side door of his truck, "Let's go home."

He helps me climb in, knowing that my muscles are sore and aching, before he hurries to the other side and climbs in. I cry silently all the way home, but my dad never lets go of my hand as he drives. My heart beats faster as I take in my old home after pulling into the driveway. It's still the same, after all this time. It's an old white house with red shudders and a red door and a large garden in front with hundred of flowers. Old trees surround the house and I can see the tire swing that I used to play on is still hanging from a strong branch. The porch still has four rocking chairs on it, like I never left. This is still the house to a family of four. When my father helps me inside, my mother is waiting for us at the door. Like I had pictured, she has a kettle on the stove. She's ready to make hot water with honey, the thing she turns to when one of her daughters is sad. She pulls me into a hug right away. My dad joins us and together we are crying, weeping, hugging… thankful that I'm home.

"Katniss…" a cracked voice calls from the staircase.

Suddenly I have all the energy in the world… all because of this voice. It's Prim… Skipping steps, I run up the stairs, watching her as she runs down them towards me. I sob as we collide, grabbing onto each other as though we both thought we would never see each other again. I hear her laughing… but I'm sobbing.

"You're home, Katniss," she says happily, "you're home!"

I pull away and nod my head, "I'm sorry, Prim, I'm so sorry!"

She shakes her head and together we go to the kitchen and setting around the table. Mom and dad follow us and for a while, we just sit there, crying and happy to finally all be together again.

I hear my father sigh heavily, "Okay, sweetheart, let's hear it," he says suddenly.

I nod because I know he's right, it's time for me to explain… After a year, their oldest daughter turns up out of nowhere and they need an explanation. I open my mouth, but no words come out. My mother stands when the kettle starts to scream and she returns to the table with four mugs and a large bottle of honey.

"Why didn't you call?" Prim asks me softly, her finger softly tracing the bruise of my face.

"I-I'm sorry," I say again, "I couldn't… I tried a-a few times, but…"

"But he caught you," my mother interrupts, pouring hot water into my mug; "he caught you, didn't he?"

I nod, unable to look at any of them. Their eyes are full of sadness and worry for me… I hate making them feel this way.

"I'm so sorry; I never should have left…" I tell them, "I loved it here and I could have gone to school here. I knew… the night of the wedding, I knew… He just... snapped."

My mother gasps, my sister cries silently, grasping onto my hand, but my father stands and begins pacing.

"That-that was the first time he… he got mad," I begin telling them, "I don't even remember why. He's the reason I quit school, why I don't have a job… he wouldn't let me," I pause, "He-he wouldn't let me call here, he wouldn't let me do anything and-and I fought at first. I fought back."

None of them speak so I just keep going, pleading for them to understand why I shut them out of my life for the last year.

"He took away everything, mama," I plead, looking at my mother and she quickly pulls me into her chest while I sob, "he was horrible, mama, I had to leave… I had to run away."

"It's alright, honey," she coos into my hair, "you did the right thing; no one deserves that, especially you, sweetie. You're safe here."

I nod, but my body continues to shake with sobs, "I tried to come back once," I continue, "B-but he found me, and I knew the next time, I needed to plan it better. I-I'm sorry, it took so long."

"Katniss, this is not your fault," my father says sharply, immediately stopping from his pacing, "This is not your fault. He obviously has issues," he pauses, "And if he shows up here, he's going to pay for what he's done to my daughter!"

Again, all I can do is nod because I know there is no arguing with my father. But this makes me wonder… if Cato does find me, will he hurt my family too? That is something I didn't think about. I didn't think about the fact that I could lead him here. I suddenly feel as though my safe place… my home, maybe isn't as safe as I thought it would be.


	4. Chapter 4 Break

Chapter 4: Peeta

"That's not funny, Finn, and you know it," I say, anger welling up inside of me.

He's done this before. He jokes around with me, thinking it's funny to say Katniss is back when she really isn't. He does it just to get a rise out of me. But he hasn't done it in a long time… not since I punched him in the face last time.

"Dude, I'm not kidding this time," he says seriously.

I look at him. He's not smiling now, which means he could be telling the truth.

"It was probably someone else…" I say, getting back to decorating my cake.

"No! I swear!" Finnick shouts, pulling me away from my work again. "You know Annie wouldn't lie about this, Peeta! And she would know Katniss anywhere; they played volleyball together for years!"

I narrow my eyes at Finnick, as if daring him to say those words to me again and keep a straight face.

"Katniss is back, Peeta," he tells me again, his eyes sincere, "Annie saw her get off the late bus last night. She talked to her."

I don't know what to say so I just stand there, icing all over my hands and arms.

Is she really back? I've wanted her to come back for so long now… But now that it's actually a possibility that she really is back, I have to wonder why? Why would she come back after all this time?

Ty walks in from the back and looks around at us, "What's all the excitement about, Finn?"

"Katniss Everdeen is back in town," Finnick says again and the words ring in my head over and over again.

Ty's eyebrows raise, "yeah, I heard that too, just now..."

I look at Ty and mentally slap him over the head for not saying anything. He shrugs as if reading my mind.

"Heather called and said Gale and Rory were in the store picking up food to take to the Everdeen's," Ty says, "Gale told her Katniss was hungry for brats."

Ty and Finnick both chuckle, but I don't really think it's that funny.

"W-was she alone?" I ask Finnick after a few minutes of letting this information settle into my brain.

Finnick nods and suddenly his smile is completely gone and he looks a little sad, "Annie said she didn't look good," he tells me, "I don't want to… I don't want to start anything here, but Annie thought Katniss came back because…" he stops speaking and I watch as he thinks over his next words carefully.

"What, Finn?" I demand of my best friend, the only person who has known about my greatest desire.

He takes a deep breath, "She looked pretty bad, Annie said," he tells me.

"What do you mean?" I ask, while thinking that Annie must have been mistaken. Katniss could never look bad.

There's a silence that I could probably cut with a knife before he speaks, "It was pretty obvious that… that she's been beaten," he says slowly, as though he doesn't want to believe it himself, "she had some bruises… on her face and Annie noticed her hand looked pretty bad too."

He pauses, fully aware of the fact that I'm gripping the frosting bag as though I'm strangling the person who put the bruises on her face.

"She left him…" Ty confirms for Finnick, "He beat the hell out of her."

There are a few emotions that I'm feeling and I'm thankful that being a Marine has helped me learn when the best time was for letting these emotions out.

First, I'm angry… No, I'm fucking livid. I don't know this guy, but I want to kill him if what Finnick tells me is true. If he put one hand on her in any way that would cause her pain, I will kill him. And I know ten ways to do so with just my bare hands. I'm frustrated… I could have helped her, I _would _have helped her. If I was home before she left for college, I could have dated her like I planned to do when I got back. Maybe then she never would have met this guy. Then she never would have been hurt. She would never know what it's like to be hurt because with me, she never would have been. She would have always been safe with me. I'm sad… because she doesn't deserve this, even though I'm sure he has made her feel that she somehow deserves to be hit. I had to deal with a few domestic abuse victims in Iraq where the wife would come to us for help and it was heartbreaking to watch. We would often see men on the streets, pushing and yelling at their wives… sometimes their only reason for doing so was simply because they could. I'm worried… I want to know if she's alright. Maybe there's something I can do. I'm hurt… because she's been hurt. I feel the pain she's in. And I feel sick all of a sudden thinking about bruises all over her body. And lastly, I'm confused… what I would like to do and what I should do are completely different things. I want to make my way over to the Everdeen's right this second, barge into their front door and hold onto her. I want to make her feel better about this… I want her to know that she's perfect and that she doesn't have to be afraid anymore. I want to take away all of her pain. I want to make her smile and laugh… my two favorite things in the entire world.

But what should I do? I should give her space. It's bad enough that this is a small town… I'm sure everyone in town has found out that the Sweet Katniss Everdeen has finally returned. I am certain that the old ladies from church have heard the news and probably made a million different dishes and carpooled together to drop them off so Mrs. Everdeen didn't have to worry about cooking. I'm sure Prim is running her fingers through Katniss' hair as she lies in her little sister's lap. I'm well aware that Gale and Rory could already be halfway to Boston by now, ready to kick this guy's ass. Johanna is probably sitting with Katniss and Prim, not saying a word, not shedding a tear, because that's just how tough Johanna Mason is.

There's so many other people that are closer to Katniss that are able to help her if this really is the case; if she really has ran away from her abusive husband. She doesn't need me, the guy who took her to prom years ago. She probably doesn't even remember it after having a year of beatings and other things, like trying to leave, on her mind. I sigh and run my hand through my hair after setting down the icing bag.

"So why are we celebrating again?" I ask Finnick because surely this is no reason to celebrate.

Yes, she's home. Yes, she's safe now. But no, I will not celebrate because of what she had to go through just to come home… just to be safe.

"Everyone is just glad she's home," Finn tells me before turning to leave.

I'm glad she's home too. That's another emotion I feel.

Somehow, Finnick convinces me that I should go out to Abernathy's tonight. I don't want to at all, but I do. So here I am with a beer in hand, sitting at the bar with Finn, Annie, Thresh and his girlfriend, Rue. We've been here for about an hour and everywhere I turn, there are people talking about Katniss Everdeen, the girl who disappeared but has now returned. It annoys me, all this talk about her, and she's not here. In high school, people talked about her just as often. But they only talked about how beautiful, smart, kind and fun she way. Now they say things like, 'oh isn't it just so sad?' and 'did you hear he almost killed her?' or 'she looks awful'.

"Want another one, boy?" Haymitch Abernathy asks me from behind the bar after I drain my beer.

"Just one, Haymitch, I'm on call," I tell him.

I watch as he pulls out another glass and fills it from the tap and hands it to me. Haymitch is kind of a hero in this town; he was born and raised here and owns the only bar in town. Everyone knows him and he knows everyone. He is also Katniss Everdeen's Godfather, having been her father's best friend since grade school.

"A lot of people around here are pretty excited, you know…" he says after I thank him for the beer, "you're the only one who doesn't look happy about it."

I shake my head, "maybe on different circumstances…"

"She's going to be okay..." Haymitch says, cutting me off.

I look at him and wonder if he can see right through me; if he can look at me and see that I've been in love with Katniss my entire life.

"You see her yet?" I ask.

He shakes his head, "Nah, not yet... I'm afraid that if I do, I will for sure get my one way ticket to hell for killing that boy."

And he walks away, grabbing a glass and filling a beer for someone else. Before my next thought, I'm distracted by shouts of excitement coming from behind me and I turn to see Gale Hawthorne and Johanna Mason just coming through the door. People are always excited to see them… they are also well liked around here, just like Katniss. I watch them as they make their way towards us.

"Hey guys," Gale greets us, sitting down on the stool to my left. Johanna sits on his knee.

Annie, Finnick, Thresh and Rue all greet them happily, but I only manage some form of a grunt. Gale looks exhausted, but Jo only looks pissed off before she calls for Haymitch to open a bottle of tequila. After a long time of silence, I must ask the question that I've been waiting to know the answer to for over six months.

"How is she?" I ask Gale quietly.

He and Johanna are two others who have guessed that I had more feelings for Katniss then I ever let on about. I think neither of them said anything because of the fact that I was going into the Marines. Maybe they thought I could die over there so it's best if I didn't start anything with their best friend. And I agree… I thought I could have died too and if she were waiting for me back home, me dying would have broken her heart too.

He shrugs, "she's been better, that's for sure," he tells me.

I wait for him to continue, but he doesn't. Instead, Johanna speaks.

"The mother-fucker left bruises all over her body," she says angrily as she takes a shot that Haymitch set in front of her, "he's been doing this to her since the day they got married."

I close my eyes, feeling the anger taking control of me. I see visions of me in combat, fighting hand to hand with an Iraqi civilian who was infamous for raping young woman. We had been looking for him for three months until we caught him in the act. I took him out while Boggs took care of the young woman and took her to safety. After a moment and a few deep breaths, I open my eyes again and the visions are gone.

Just in time for Johanna to take another shot of tequila and continue speaking, "I had to help her change because she was too fucking weak just to change her own fucking clothes…" she pauses, a look of disgust all over her face, "she told me about the way he _fucked _her…"

"Jo, not here," Gale interrupts her, reminding her that she shouldn't be saying these things, especially to me.

I'm thankful he stopped her because if she would have finished her sentence, I'm sure I would have booked a red eye flight to Boston to track that man down with my sniper rifle. But maybe I will still do that…

After about twenty minutes of drinking in complete silence, Gale and Johanna stand up to leave.

I look up at him when I feel his hand on my shoulder, "I think you should stop and see her…" he says slowly, "she worried about you after you went to Iraq."

After letting his words sink in, I nod once, unable to look him in the eye. When they leave, I think about what Gale just told me. Katniss thought about me after I left… that was something. I didn't know… I thought she would have completely forgotten me. Maybe she has… I finish my last beer and stand. I say goodnight to my friends and leave an extra tip for Haymitch.

There's only one way to find out if Katniss Everdeen has forgotten all about me… I'm going to take Gale's advice and go see her.

(Cato)

I come home to a dark house… an empty house.

There's no note and no dinner waiting for me at the table.

And there is definitely no Katniss waiting for me in a sexy red outfit.

I look around more… there's nothing missing. There's nothing out of place.

I don't notice a single thing different about our home.

Until I walk into our bedroom and turn on the light beside the bed.

Her ring is lying next to the alarm clock.

It's the ring I told her she was never allowed to take off.

She ran away.

She left me.

No one leaves me.

And no one definitely leaves me after I tell them not to.

I know exactly where she went.

But I think I'll give her some time to make her think that she actually got away with this.

And then I'm going to find her.

And if she's still alive, I'll bring her home.


	5. Chapter 5 Hello

Chapter 5: Peeta and Katniss

I've been sitting in my truck in front the Everdeen's house for almost a half an hour now, trying to make up my mind.

What the hell am I doing here?

What do I expect?

During this last half hour, a million different scenarios have gone through my mind, some way more ridiculous than others.

One, she doesn't remember me. Great, then I really will look stupid. I'll need to say something like 'hey, remember me? I took you to prom five years ago' or I'll stand there staring at her like an idiot, lost in her beauty that I've missed since the last time I saw her… Two, she does remember me, but she is afraid of me. She's been beaten by a man who she should have trusted, a man who was supposed to care for her the rest of her life. We were hardly friends in high school… yes, we've known each other our entire lives, but we each had a different group of close friends. I am certain that she felt perfectly safe with Gale and Rory visiting her, but she doesn't really know me all that well. The last thing I want to do is frighten her. Three, I see her and I feel sick. Bruises cover the body that I've dreamed about my entire life. I've always admired every curve, the color of her skin, the smoothness of the way her skin looked. If that is the case when I do see her, then I am certain our visit won't go the way that it should. I would get angry, thinking of the ways I could snap her sick husband's neck. Four, I knock on the door and her father lets me in and goes to tell Katniss that I'm here, but she won't come see me because she's two embarrassed… by the bruises, maybe by the fact that this happened to her, maybe because we were never very close. And five, as soon as I make my way into the door, she sees me and runs straight to me, jumps into my arms and kisses me. She kisses me as though she's pouring everything she feels into me. She tells me she misses me, that she's happy I'm home from Iraq, that she wishes she would have waited for me.

I snort at the likelihood of that last scenario. I take a deep breath and with a shaky hand, I reach for the door handle and open it.

I can hold a long-range rifle steady and stay completely calm while there are a million other things going on around me, trying to distract me. I can take out the enemy from one thousand yards away, flawlessly. But I'm scared shitless as I walk in the steps of the front porch. I take a deep breath before knocking. I watch as through the glass in the door as John makes his way through the house towards me. There's a brief look of surprise on his face when he opens the door and sees me standing on his front porch. We've only worked together at the fire department and attended our squad leader's famous barbeques a few times in the last six months.

"Peeta," he says, shaking my hand like he's done several times before, "Everything alright? I called Thom and told him my pager would be turned off for a few days, but if there's something…"

"No, no, it's okay," I cut him off, assuring him that I'm not here on behalf of the fire department, "everything's fine, at least I think so. There haven't been any pages today," I add, checking the department issued pager on my hip to keep myself busy.

"Okay, good," he says, stepping aside and motioning me into his home, "Come on in."

I nod and when I step inside, I notice a shotgun placed just inside the door. Good, he's taking precautions just in case he comes looking for her. I knew I always liked John Everdeen. I've known him a long time, and he and my dad grew up together. But after being away for the Marine Corps in the last five years, and coming back a changed man, I haven't really had the chance to connect with him for the last six months. I hear John clear his throat and I realize I haven't explained why I'm here. I look at him and see that he's looking at me expectantly. I don't really know what to say…

I shrug and jerk my head towards the shotgun next to the door, "If you need any more let me know…" I say.

It only takes a second for John to understand what I'm referring to, "Good to know…" he says, shrugging.

Again, there's an awkward silence.

"You are a professional after all," he adds with a smile.

I nod and clear my throat, "I, uh… I just came by to see if she's alright," I finally confess.

"She's doing better now that she's home," he tells me, "She's had a big day today, so she's a little tired."

"Right," I say, getting ready to turn to leave, "I don't want to bother her... I know she's probably getting enough attention from people as it is, but I just thought..."

"Daddy, who's at the door?" a voice calls from the kitchen.

It's her voice. I know it is… I would know that voice anywhere; it's the reason for one of the few tattoos I recieved while in the Corps. Only the voice I remember was stronger and more confident. This voice is weak, broken, but no less beautiful.

"Come on back, Peet," John says, motioning for me to follow him, "Comin', sweetheart."

"I'll meet you out there," she answers from somewhere in the kitchen, "Just rinsing my plate."

"Don't take long," John replies as I follow him to the back of the house.

He opens the door and we're out on the back porch where Mrs. Everdeen, Prim and Rory are sitting around a glass patio table. Rory and Prim wave and I give an acknowledging nod, distracted by the look Prim gives me in return.

"Peeta, how are you?" Mrs. Everdeen greets me, rising to give me a warm hug.

This isn't new to me. Mrs. Everdeen hugs everyone. Prim and Rory smile and say hello also, but I keep waiting for that one hello that I've been waiting to hear for five long, excruciating years.

"Peeta came to see how Kat's doing..." John tells his wife.

Mrs. Everdeen turns to me and gives me a warmer smile than she's ever given me.

"She went in for just a moment, she'll be right out," she tells me.

I don't know what to make of her and Prim's reaction to me showing up here to see Katniss. Perhaps they know… maybe they've known all along that I've always had these feelings for Katniss. Maybe they know that I'm a man who would never hurt her. Regardless of thier reaction, I try not to read too far into it.

"Want a beer, Peeta?" John asks me while he reaches into a cooler.

But before I can answer him, the screen door slides open behind me and I turn to the most beautiful sight I've ever seen. Her body is so different from that scrawny athletic girl I took to prom. She's a woman. I let my eyes roam from her toes, up her long legs, her hips, her slim waist, beautiful chest, her long neck… But my thoughts of pure shock and awe are interrupted when I see bruises cover certain parts of her skin. There are too many to count, ranging from her thigh, where there is also a very visible scar that I don't remember seeing when she wore the short spandex to volleyball practice. I would know; I had dreams about her in those spandex all the way through my teenage years. That's new and I bet he gave it to her. There are several bruises on her arms and they are all clear handprints. I look at her hand, where Finnick told me that Annie noticed she had been hurt. And I see it now, it's clear that she had broken fingers at some point that were never fully healed. I look at every detail, taking notice in every change... making tally marks. Every mark he left on her, I'll leave on him and then some.

I am trying my best to keep the look of disgust off my face. He beat her, it's obvious. But he also didn't think it was necessary to fix her after he'd broken her. Of course not, why the fuck would he? The sick bastard.

I look at her face. Almost the entire left side is bruised and I feel sick, just like I thought I would. But I can still make out her beauty beneath all that black, blue and purple. Her skin is still flawless, her lips still full and pink, her eyelashes still long enough to touch her cheeks when she closes them. And her eyes… they're still the same, only sadder.

She's looking back at me with an expression I can't read.

Shit, she doesn't remember me.

"Hey," I say, and immediately I curse myself for being so lame.

Of all the things I've wanted to say to her… I say 'hey'?

She doesn't say anything and I think it's a ridiculous idea that I came here. I might need to kick Gale's ass too. She's still looking at me with that odd expression. I've always thought that I was able to read her every emotion, but I can't read this one. And I can't look away from those eyes.

"Katniss, sweetheart, you remember Peeta, don't you?" Mrs. Everdeen says out of nowhere, disrupting our staring contest.

Katniss nods, she does remember me.

"I uh…" she begins, her voice raspy as though she's not used to speaking, "I didn't know you were back…"

"Yeah, I came back six months ago," I tell her.

I'm floored that she remembers who I am and that I went away to join the Marines. It makes my heart soar.

I watch her as she nods her head and steps forward slowly, taking a seat in an empty chair. I can tell that her muscles are sore, just the way she walks. I notice the wince on her face when she sits and I wonder if it's because of what Johanna started to tell me at the bar earlier… her words play over and over in my head, 'the way he fucked her'…

"Well, John," Mrs. Everdeen begins, "Let's go on up to bed."

John hesitates, looking between myself and his oldest daughter, as though he's not sure if he should leave her alone. He probably hasn't let her out of his sight since she came home, and I don't blame him.

"Yeah, okay," he agrees after a while. Then he turns to Prim and Rory, "Come on, you two."

My eyes haven't left Katniss since she stepped outside, but I feel Prim and Rory pass me, following John and Laurie into the house. Katniss looks more nervous now. The only man she's been alone with during the last year has been using her as a punching bag. I step forward slowly so I don't startle her, and take the seat across from her. For a few minutes, we just stare at each other. This is different; I remember every conversation with Katniss that I've ever had and there are so many innocent, friendly conversations... But for this one, it feels as though the air has changed.

(Katniss)

I don't know what to make of him…

He's not that same tall, skinny boy that he used to be. He is a man now, I suppose, just like I imagined he'd be. And he looks wonderful. He's still tall of course, but his shoulders have broadened and his arms are more defined. His hair is the same blond, but maybe slightly darker than before and it's cut short, something the Marine Corps instilled in him. He still has those freckles that I remember on his nose. And his eyes… they're the same blue eyes that I used to catch staring at me from across the classroom when he would look away quickly and I would blush furiously. And on those days, I would leave school wondering why in the world was Peeta Mellark staring at me? Those eyes are exactly how I remembered... But yet, they're different too.

He's seen things. He has seen too much… most likely as a Marine and for just a second I wish I had some sort of power to take away all those painful memories that he is forced to face every day.

I am so embarrassed. He has undoubtedly heard about why I came home. He's heard that I've been treated like I'm some kind of ragdoll… just like everyone else in this town has already heard. But of all the visitors that showed up to see me today, to tell me they're so sorry, to drop off food, some just to see if the rumors are true… Peeta Mellark's eyes are the only set of eyes that haven't been locked on every bruise on my body. And right now, he's not looking at me like I'm the damaged little girl that I am. He's looking at me the same way he always has… but with something else… something that I find myself liking, even in these circumstances.

"I, uh… I just wanted to see you," he tells me after several minutes of complete silence, "I won't stay long…"

He looks sad all of a sudden, almost as if he would like to stay, but he knows he shouldn't.

I find my voice, "its okay," I tell him, "I am glad you came by. And, uh... I'm glad you made it home safely."

He nods and gives me a small smile, but I'm still too afraid to smile back. It's not him that I'm afraid of… but just this entire situation. Early in my marriage, when I was still allowed out of the house, Cato saw me talking to the sales clerk at the grocery store. He claimed that it looked as though we were flirting, which I thought was ridiculous, but nevertheless, he beat me with his baseball bat that evening and the I haven't seen that sales clerk since. And I haven't spoken to another man other than my husband since.

"I'm glad you made it home too," he says quietly, still not taking his eyes off mine.

I search for things to say... there's so many things I would like to say. I could tell him that I had written to him a few times after he left for the Marines, but I never sent those letters, too afraid to be rejected or laughed at. I should have known that Peeta Mellark would never have laughed at me. The old Katniss would have told him… she was much more comfortable and outgoing than the new Katniss, the one I am now.

Fortunately, he has always been gifted with words and he breaks the silence, "you know, Katniss…" he starts, a small smile playing on his lips, "I am a professional... I do know ten ways to kill a man with my bare hands."

For the first time in over a year, I laugh. It's only a light chuckle and it makes my ribs sting, but he has managed to make me… a damaged, bruised woman… he's made me laugh again.

But the laughter quickly fades when I see the seriousness in his face.

"I know," I say, "But hopefully it won't come to that."


	6. Chapter 6 Remembering

Chapter 6: Katniss and Peeta

I wake up the next morning with a new sense of security and… hope, maybe. I rise early and with more energy that I've had since I married Cato, and maybe since high school. I decide that today I would like to find a job and maybe see some old friends. My desire to move on with life is so strong. I shower quickly and put on a pair of Prim's jean shorts and a t-shirt. It's a little strange to be able to wear Prim's clothing, but seeing as I've left everything I own in Boston and that she's grown and I've lost weight, it all works out.

I braid my hair to the side and put on a little make up to make the bruise on my face look a little less painful. I know make up wouldn't be able to cover it up completely. When I get downstairs, my mother is the only one home and she looks up at me with a stunned expression.

"What are you doing up and dressed so early, honey?" she asks me before taking a drink of her coffee.

I shrug, "Just thought I would go out today, maybe see what's changed around here," I tell her, "I would like to get a job; it'd be nice to work again. Where's Prim?"

"Prim is working at the library this morning," she tells me and then she smiles sadly at me, "Honey, I think that's great, but don't you want to see if Gale or Johanna would go with you?"

Again, I shrug, "Gale's at work," I tell her. I turn to look at her concerned face and I give in, "I'll call Johanna."

Instantly, she looks relieved. I pick up the phone and dial her number while biting into an apple.

"Hey, Everdeen," she answers after a few rings.

"How'd you know it was me?"

"Caller ID, brainless," she says, "I didn't know which Everdeen it was, though."

"Does my father call you often?" I say while laughing.

She laughs with me, "You had a good night sleep, didn't you?" she teases, "Really, you seem well rested. Could it be because of a late night visitor last night?"

I scowl and shake my head, "No," I tell her and I feel as though I'm telling my mother that too because she is giving me a knowing look, as though she can hear what Johanna is saying on the other line.

Johanna laughs and so does my mother. I must be blushing… But at the same time this feels good. This is the way things were before I married Cato. Teasing, laughter, fun… This is living.

"Okay, listen," I interrupt the laughter around me, "I was thinking of going out today, see the town. You want to be my chaperone?" I look at my mother, "Apparently I need one."

I hear Johanna laugh, "Well, she's right, although I don't think I'm the best chaperone option," she says.

I take another bite of my apple, "No, you're perfect," I say, "You want to pick me up? It's probably best that I don't drive right away… I wouldn't want to scare the fine people of Pineville off the roads on only my first day on the town, would I?"

"Are you that out of practice, Everdeen?" she asks, "What, they don't drive in Boston?"

"Most people do," I reply quietly.

There's a pause, "But not beaten wives, huh?"

Another pause, "No, not this beaten wife," I say and there's a tense pause and I look at my mother who looks away sadly, chopping peppers for the cassarole she's making.

"Alright, I'll be there in fifteen," Johanna says, "You're lucky I was already up and showered."

"I still remember you rise with the chickens, Mason," I counter.

"Glad to see you still have a few brain cells," she says before hanging up.

I smile while hanging up the phone. Oh Johanna, what would I do without you?

I help my mother with a few things around the house until Johanna shows up. Johanna's not one to show affection, but she pulls me into a quick and slightly awkward hug when she comes in through the door. I was even more shocked with the first hug she gave me the other morning after my father called her and Gale to let them know I was home. They were here within minutes, still dressed in pajamas. I knew Johanna wasn't a crier and neither is Gale, but he was the one to shed tears at the sight of his long lost best friend since birth. Johanna laid down with me, silent as ever, but her anger was clear on her face and I'm sure she went home that afternoon and had hours of target practice.

"Morning, Laurie," she greets my mother.

"Hey, Jo, thanks for going with Katniss today," my mother says with a smile, "If you need anything, make sure you call your father. And if there's any-any… trouble, then just go into Abernathy's, Haymitch can help. And-and if you're on main street then go into the bakery… the Mellark's will help."

"Mama, please," I begin, but there is a part of me that is nervous about me going out too, "We'll be fine…"

My mother nods, but she looks no less apprehensive. And I am quite surprised she's not trying to talk me out of this.

"Just be careful," she tells me as Johanna and I make our way out the door.

Johanna and I are silent on the way towards the main part of town. I am worrying that maybe my mother was right… maybe I should just stay home, at least until I know for sure that Cato won't show up here looking for me. Maybe I should have stayed home at least until this ugly bruise on my face is gone. No, I can't think like that. It's been too long since I've done something that I want to do. I'm ready… I'm ready to be free. I look over to Johanna to see that she has a worried expression on her face too. When she catches me looking at her, she changes her expression immediately.

"Where do you want to do first?" she asks me.

I shrug, "How about we just park on main street and walk around," I suggest, "I could go in and say hello to Haymitch, then we could go to the Wooden Spoon, maybe I can get my old job back…"

Johanna nods, "I know you're scared, but you need this," she says quickly, not looking at me.

My head snaps up and I look at her, "Do you think I can do this?"

She reaches over the consol between us and grabs my hand and squeezes tightly, "I _know_ you can."

She lets go of my hand quickly and clears her throat, ridding herself of the evidence that she's actually human.

I chuckle to myself as I get out of her car and she follows. We walk down main street, looking into windows and saying hello to a few familiar faces, all eyes connecting to the bruise on my face and they all tell me how sorry they are to hear what happened to me, but I do my best to look like I'm fine… like everything's fine, because really, it is. I made it out of Boston and I made it home. Johanna pushes the door to the Wooden Spoon open and I follow her inside. The place is exactly the same. There are the same older couples who come here for breakfast and coffee and all of the tables are in exactly the same places, the old fashioned pictures still hang in their same places on the wall.

"Catnip!" I hear a familiar voice calling from behind the counter in front of the kitchens and I turn to see Posy Hawthorne running towards me.

"Rosy Posy, how are you?" I say while she jumps up into my arms, the way she's always done. I wince slightly using muscles that are sore.

"Careful, Posy," Hazelle Hawthorne says, coming out from the kitchens.

I set Posy down on a stool to hug Gale's mother.

"Good to see you, honey," she says in my ear while holding me tightly in a hug.

I find it a little amusing that she scolded Posy for being too rough with me and yet she's squeezing me tighter than anyone.

"Hazelle," I say, my voice filled with unshed tears. I will not cry anymore… Not here.

She pulls away to look at me and runs a hand over the good side of the face, "Beautiful as ever, honey!"

I smile, "It's so good to see you…" I tell her, "How are Vick and little Vick?"

She laughs, "Both are doing just fine, we're all happy that you're home."

I watch as she greets her daughter-in-law, Johanna Hawthorne.

"Alright, how about some hash browns and sausages, girls?" Hazelle asks us, "Katniss, honey, you're far too thin, and we need to fatten you up some."

I shake my head and shift uncomfortably, "A year and half of living as a vegetarian," I say quietly, fully aware that I'm in a diner filled with meat eaters.

There are a few shocked gasps that are heard throughout the restaurant. Hazelle turns to the window into the kitchens and yells at the cooks to get a plate full of bacon and sausage for me to eat. For the next twenty minutes, Johanna and I stuff our faces with Pineville's finest breakfast.

"So, tell me, you need a job now?" Hazelle asks me as I finish my second glass of orange juice.

I look up and nod at her, "I would like one," I tell her, "But I understand if you're not hiring."

She shakes her head, "Start in the morning if that's good for you," she says quickly, "You remember how everything works around here, don't you?"

"Of course, I only worked here for five years and helped out with dishes since I could reach the sink," I say with a smile.

"Well, good," she says and there's a pause before she adds, "We'll work you so you won't have to think about certain things, honey."

I smile at her gratefully. That's exactly what I was hoping for.

"Alright well, we were going to say hello to Haymitch," Jo says to Hazelle before we stand to leave.

"Oh, well great, he'll be happy to see you!"

With a few more hugs from Hazelle and Posy, we are out the door and walking down Main Street again towards Abernathy's. A black truck across the street catches my eye and it's parked in front of Mellark's Bakery. I smile to myself at the memory of last night. Peeta Mellark has changed and I find myself thinking of what could have been… Maybe if I would have sent those letters that I had written. Maybe he would have written back and they would have later turned into love letters. Maybe those love letters would be enough to bring him home. Maybe I would have waited for him if he somehow told me that he wanted me to. We would probably be happy. He would have told me about his time in Iraq and I would have never felt what it feels like to be beaten and humiliated by a man who was supposed to love me and take care of me. There's not a doubt in my mind that Peeta Mellark would have taken care of me. I am sure he treats some lucky girl like she's a queen and she is lucky to have him.

"Hey brainless," Johanna nudges me out of my reverie, "Did Peeta come see you last night?"

I look at her, completely surprised that she would ask me that just when I was thinking about him. It must have been completely obvious that he's what I've been thinking about.

"I uh… yeah, yeah, he did," I tell her awkwardly.

She looks at me expectantly, "And?"

"And what? He didn't stay long… just long enough to say 'hello, how are you? It's been a long time'."

I look at her and see a smirk on her face.

"He's different…" she says, "he was always nice and good looking, you know, but he is quieter now, more reserved."

We're just outside of Abernathy's when I hear the loud music coming from the open windows. And as I take one more glance back at Peeta's truck, I couldn't think of a better song than 'Demons' by Imagine Dragons to describe how I feel right now.

(Peeta)

"So you're telling me that you actually went to her house, knocked on the door, John let you in and you _actually talked_ to her?" Finnick asks me for the tenth time since he came through the bakery door.

I nod, "Yeah, it was nice," I say with a shrug, "I mean, we didn't say much. I didn't want to stay long, she looked… tired."

That is the best word I can think of to describe the way she looked last night… and it's the truth, she did look tired. She looked completely worn out.

"And you didn't confess your undying love for her?" Finn asks me with a smirk.

I scowl, "No, idiot, she-she just left her dumbass husband," I say angrily, "That's the last thing she wants to hear from someone. Beside, that wasn't the point of the evening. I just wanted to see her, you know? I just had to see for myself that she was alright…"

"And is she alright?"

I shrug, "I think she will be eventually, but the… the bruises," I begin shaking my head as the sick feeling in my stomach returns, "She could hardly sit down without… without pain."

Finnick nods, "Annie heard a few other things from Delly Cartwright."

I roll my eyes; doesn't anyone in this town understand what privacy means? Mind your own fucking business.

Finnick ignores my reaction, "Delly works with Johanna at the bank," he says, "Apparently Jo was actually crying on her break yesterday afternoon…"

I look up at my friend. Johanna Mason, well Hawthorne now, was crying?

Finnick shrugs, "She had just gotten back from seeing Katniss and apparently Katniss was changing clothes and Jo saw the bruises and-well, you know Jo, she wants to know something, she asks! Katniss told her how she got them and Jo just had to tell someone, and obviously the last person you want to tell is Delly Cartwright."

I nod in agreement on that one. Delly Cartwright has always been a gossip, especially in high school.

"Anyway, her husband basically raped her… I know that he wouldn't call it rape because he probably thinks he can do whatever he wants with his wife, but Johanna saw some bruises between her legs when she helped her change out of her clothes… and a pretty large bruise on her ass."

I put my hand up, unable to hear anything more, "Stop, please," I say through gritted teeth.

We are both silent for a few minutes and I take the opportunity to get back to rolling bread. I don't want to hear anymore from other people. If Katniss wants to tell me then I'm sure she will tell me. She probably trusted Johanna to keep that secret, but I do know that Johanna and Delly are friends too. Maybe Jo was feeling like she needed to get it out. The bell above the door rings and I look up to see Johanna and Katniss entering the bakery. Johanna looks determined, but Katniss looks slightly embarrassed. I exchange a glance with Finnick to make sure he is seeing the same thing I'm seeing and he nods his head once, telling me that this is real.

I quickly wipe my hands while Johanna and Katniss make their way over to us.

"Hey, gentlemen," Johanna says to Finnick and myself.

We both say hello in response, but just like last night, my eyes are only on Katniss, who looks around nervously after giving us both a small smile. I watch as Finn very carefully slips his arm around Katniss' shoulders and gives her a gentle squeeze.

"Good to see you, cuteness," he tells her.

Her cheeks turn slightly pink at the endearment, but I chuckle... I haven't heard him call her that in years.

"We just stopped at the Wooden Spoon and said hello to Hazelle and Posy," Jo explains, "and we stopped at Abernathy's but for once, Haymitch wasn't there."

Finnick says something in return but I'm not listening. I'm only noticing how Katniss looks today. She looks much better than yesterday and I'm happy knowing that she must have slept well. While she's not looking, I allow my eyes to scan her body. I feel guilty doing so, knowing that she's not mine to admire, but then I remind myself that if she was, she wouldn't be standing here covered in bruises.

I feel a nudge in my side and turn to look at Finnick, "What?" I ask him.

He jerks his head as though he's telling me to pay attention. I must have missed something important.

"I asked if you were busy tomorrow night," Johanna tells me, her eyebrows raised knowingly, "Gale and I are having a cookout."

"Oh, uh… No, I don't have any plans," I say, "But I will be on call."

Johanna nods, "Well come on by, we'll have alot to eat," she says.

I nod at her before turning to Katniss, "Will you be there?"

She looks up at me, a small smile on her pink lips and nods. I can't help but smile at her.

"Great, well bring Annie, Finnick, I haven't talked to her in a few weeks," Jo tells him.

I see that they continue talking for a while so I turn to Katniss, "you want a cupcake?" I ask her.

She looks up, like she's surprised, "uh, sure."

I shrug, "I just remember that you like cupcakes," I tell her, fully aware that I may sound a little like a stalker, "especially ones with raspberry filling, right?"

She looks stunned, "You remember my favorite cupcake?"

I smile a little… okay this is it. Now or never.

"I remember everything about you, Katniss."


	7. Chapter 7 Comfort

Chapter 7: Cato and Katniss

It's been three days since Katniss left. I'm beginning to miss her… the two girls I met at the bar just aren't the same. They aren't as tight and they just aren't my wife. I also haven't had a home cooked meal since she left and I am starving. On top of all that, work has been almost unbearable as well. My boss keeps hounding me for coming into work smelling like vodka. I keep denying it, but after drinking an entire bottle last night, I admit that he has the right to be angry with me.

"You actually think you can just sit here and tell me that you are _not_ drunk right now?" my boss asks me again for the millionth time since he called me into his office ten minutes ago.

I shake my head, "Come on, Mr. Snow! This is ridiculous," I say and I know I can't hide the way my words are slurred.

He raises his hand to keep me from saying another word, "You're fired, Mr. Spencer," he says, "Get the hell out of my building."

As soon as his words sink in, I'm on my feet and walking out of his office. I've never been so fucking pissed in my life… And I know it is all Katniss' fault. I'm leaving for South Carolina tonight, but before I do I need to make two stops. I need some more vodka and I need some bullets and a gun.

(Katniss)

_I'm at the grocery store… walking through the aisles, picking things from the list that my husband made for me. He allowed me to add three things that I liked this time, but only three. I guess I should be thankful, seeing as it's three more than usual. He must be in another good mood today._

_I make my way to the checkout counter where a male cashier is waiting for me. I try to avoid making eye contact with him, knowing that my husband will undoubtedly find out in some way. __After paying for my groceries and walking out of the store, I notice a bakery across the street. I can smell the freshly baked bread from here and I check my watch to see that I still have a little time before Cato picks me up. __I make my way over and when I get inside, I'm greeted with the most beautiful cakes, cupcakes, breads, muffins, every baked good imaginable. My mouth waters at the sight and smells._

"_Hello, how can I help you?" _

_I look up to see a very handsome blond man dressed in jeans and a grey shirt with a white apron around his waist… he's a baker. His blond curly hair shines from the lighting and his blue eyes make me feel very warm inside. __I look down immediately, knowing that there's a possibility that he might be able to see that my husband beats me just by looking into my eyes._

"_No… I just wanted to look around," I tell him._

"_Well, I will give you a box filled with our finest," he tells me, "Take it home and if you like anything, then you can come back for more."_

_I shake my head, "That's alright; you don't have to do that."_

_The man shrugs and a dimple forms in his left cheek, "I want to."_

_I manage a small smile in return and accept his offer, "Thank you."_

_When he is finished carefully choosing different things that he assumes I would like, he hands me a box filled with several choiced. Our hands touch briefly and I feel a sudden jolt run through my body. I try to pull my hand away quickly but he grabs it gently and squeezes it into his own warm hands. __I look up to see him looking down at me with an expression that I cannot read… his face is serious, almost angry._

"_Leave him," he tells me harshly, but his touch is still gentle, "You are so much better than the way he treats you… You should be told every day how beautiful you are. And how precious you are… You should be kissed and truly loved every day for the rest of your life."_

_I suck in a breath at his words… they shock me to my very core. __How does he know? __I checked this morning for bruises as evidence of the way I'm treated at home and there was nothing. _

"_I can see it in your eyes…" he tells me after a moment, his hand still holding on to my own, "I would be so good to you. I would treat you like the special, beautiful woman that you are."_

_Very suddenly the door of the bakery bursts open and there's my husband… There's Cato, holding a gun and pointing it directly at me. I don't have time to think as he pulls the trigger. I close my eyes, but the pain never comes. __I open my eyes to see the blond baker, lying on the floor in front of me, bleeding from his chest. __I kneel down and grab his hand, no longer caring whether or not my husband is still in the room or not. I take the man's hand in my own and I begin speaking to him, not saying anything in particular. __But I ask him not to leave me. I ask him to stay with me._

_The last thing he says before his beautiful blue eyes close is, "Always, Katniss."_

_And then his heart stops and his hand goes limp in my own._

"NOOOO! PEETA! PEETA!"

I wake up to a voice screaming the same thing over and over again. My body is freezing, yet I'm covered in sweat. I can't seem to catch my breath and my throat is searing in pain. That was me screaming. I look up to three shocked and frightened faces standing in my doorway. My mother and Prim are crying silently, both of them afraid to move. My father is standing in the doorway, his shotgun in hand. I realize that I scared them to death, but I don't know what to do and I can't seem to catch my breath. My body shakes as I try to pull myself up to rest against the headboard.

"Prim, get some water," my mother says before slowly walking towards me.

She sits on my bed, but when she reaches out to touch me, I flinch away. I notice her reaction immediately… I hurt her.

"I'm sorry… I-I didn't mean to," I say quickly, covering my face in shame, my breathing still heavy.

She smiles sadly, tears falling down her cheeks, "What do you need, honey?"

I don't answer right away, but my mind goes back to the dream I just had. It was Peeta and it was so real.

"I-I want…" I begin, shaking my head because I know this sounds crazy, "I need Peeta, mama."

She nods and turns to my father, who looks apprehensive at first but he looks at me once more before he quickly leaves the room.

I lay back down on my pillow, tears falling from my eyes as I begin to sob.

(Peeta)

When I know I won't be able to sleep, I do things that kept my mind busy as a Marine. Straighten rooms, make sure things are perfect. Clean guns. Take them apart and put them together again… sometimes timed. Sometimes blindfolded and timed. I'm cleaning my guns when I hear my phone ring.

"Hello?" I answer, glancing at the clock and seeing that it's just after two in the morning.

"Peeta, it's John Everdeen," the voice says, and immediately I feel like something is wrong.

No wonder I couldn't sleep tonight, something happened to Katniss…

"I hope I didn't wake you or anything," he says nervously.

"No, sir, I was awake already. What happened? Katniss okay?"

I hear him sigh and I imagine him pacing as I hear heavy footsteps walking on a hardwood floor through the phone, "I guess I'm not sure... that's why I'm calling."

I knew it… My heart aches as I wait for him to continue.

"This is going to sound crazy, Peeta, but she was having some sort of dream… a nightmare, I guess... she woke up screaming for you," he explains, "she was screaming your name and-and we can't seem to get her to… to calm down."

I think about what he's saying to me… I have no idea how to respond.

"She-she keeps asking for you," John tells me, "can you come over? I think it would make her feel better…"

I clear my throat, "yeah-yes, I'll be right over."

"I just don't know what to do," he tells me, clearly embarrassed, "we've tried comforting her, Prim too. We asked her if she wants Jo or Gale, but she just keeps saying your name. She won't tell us what the nightmare was about."

"It's alright," I say while packing my guns back up again, as quickly as I can, "I'm on my way."

I hang up the phone as I lock my guns away in the gun case. Without even worrying about changing my clothes, I grab my truck keys and make my way out the door. If any cops were out tonight, I would most likely get a ticket as I fly through town. I'm thankful that it's so late at night that the roads are completely bare. I park my truck quickly in the Everdeen's driveway and run to the front door. I don't even bother knocking and I don't worry whether or not I'm being rude. I kick off my shoes and start to head upstairs but I'm stopped by Mrs. Everdeen in the hallway at the top of the stairs.

"Peeta," she says gratefully, grabbing onto my arm.

I turn to look at her and I see that she's been crying.

"Thanks for coming," she tells me quietly, "she won't stop saying your name…"

I nod, "its okay," I tell her.

She nods, "I don't know what it was about… I don't know what she saw, but she won't let any of us touch her, not even Prim."

I don't know what to say so I just stand there. She doesn't seem to know what to say either. All I can seem to think is that whatever he did to her has made her afraid of her own family right now… and I haven't the slightest idea what would make me the only one she wants to see right now.

"Go on," she tells me, gently pushing me towards Katniss' bedroom, "just try not to frighten her."

I nod and turn towards her room. I look down at my clothing and suddenly feel like I should have at least changed out of my USMC cut off t-shirt. At least my athletic shorts are somewhat new. I shake these thoughts from my head. Who cares? She's not going to give a damn what I'm wearing right now… she just wants to see me.

I knock softly on her door before I push it open. Prim is sitting at the edge of her bed, careful not to touch her. She looks at me and smiles softly before leaving the room. Katniss is huddled in a ball at the far end of her bed with her back to me. I can see her shaking and hear her soft sobs. Without even thinking about it... without even caring that she's not mine to comfort, I very slowly move to her bed and lay down behind her, gently wrapping my arms around her delicate shaking body as gently as I can. I feel her tense, but she slowly she begins to relax. She knows it's me holding onto her… this is what she asked for, right?

"Peeta…" she says softly as the tears continue to fall from her eyes.

Very slowly, I reach up and wipe the hair out of her face. The last thing I want her to do is be afraid of me so I keep my movements slow and gentle.

"I have nightmares too," I tell her.

I hear her sobs begin to slow after I tell her this. I wait until her breathing evens out before I continue talking.

"My last night in Bagdad…" I begin slowly. I can hardly believe I'm about to tell her this story… the story that I can't even tell the therapists, "I was stationed on a rooftop, overlooking this small neighborhood, just outside of the city. It was my job to scope out the surrounding buildings to make sure that there weren't any threats to civilians and other American troops who were there to keep the neighborhood safe…"

I pause to listen to her breathing; it's completely even now, but I can still hear her suck in a shaky breath every now and then due to crying so hard before.

"Well, to make a long story short, I missed something," I continue while absentmindedly rubbing up and down her arm, "I didn't even see this one Iraqi soldier through my scope, he was so small and he was good… sneaky bastard. There was some sort of religious gathering down in the center of the neighborhood; singing, dancing, alot of food… and this guy just goes into the middle of the crowd and I watched the entire thing happen… he pulled out a detonator with a cord that led into his jacket. I took aim as quickly as I could and I fired, but it was exactly the same time… he pushed the button, and I was too slow."

I pause again and I realize that I'm not only comforting her right now, but she's comforting me too. Just by letting me touch her like this.

"There were so many people… families with tons of children, kids that were just laughing and dancing and having a good time," I conclude, "many members of my team were there too, just keeping watch… but no one saw this guy, he was a phantom. It's like he was invisible up until the last moment of his life… the moment he pushed that button and everyone around him was blown to pieces right along with him."

She turns around in my arms to face me when I've finished my story. Her eyes are red and swollen and she still shaking so I pull her blanket over her shoulders.

"You are so brave…" she says, her voice barely audible, "So brave, Peeta."

"Not like you, Katniss."

She scoffs and shakes her head, "do I look brave now?"

I chuckle a little, "yes… you ran away from him," I tell her, "That's incredibly brave."

Neither of us says anything and I can feel my eyes starting to become heavy with sleepiness. I look down at her to see her eyes closed and I judge by her breathing that she has already fallen asleep. I shift slowly to get off the bed, no matter how badly I want to stay, I know it isn't right.

I feel her hand grip tightly onto my shirt, pulling me back to her. I look at her again to see her looking at me with tired eyes, but there's something else there that I've never seen before…

"Stay with me, please," she asks.

I nod as I pull her close to my chest again, "Always, Katniss."

I hear her gasp and immediately I fear that I may have squeezed her too hard so I let up a little only to have her grip on my shirt tighten. I place my fingers on her chin and tilt her head to look up at me.

"I would be so good to you. I would treat you like the special, beautiful woman that you are."

And I mean those words. We stare into each other's eyes until neither one of us can fight to hold them open anymore, so we fall asleep together. And it's the first night in six months that I don't have a single nightmare.


	8. Chapter 8 He Found Me

Chapter 8: Peeta, Cato, Katniss

I wake up early, so early that the sun hasn't risen yet. Katniss is still asleep tucked into my side. I want to feel happy that I finally had the chance to be at her side to sleep… to chase away her nightmares. I want to be happy that she thought of me as someone who could do all that for her… it's obvious she trusts me. The old Peeta would be jumping up and down with joy. But not this Peeta, not who I am now. I don't like… _no, I hate…_ I hate what she had to go through to be here now. While I want to be happy that she's here, I know that things are hard for her now and they just might get even worse before they get better. I do hope that she still needs me here when things get better…

I lift myself carefully off her bed and place one of her pillows at her side where I was. I hate to do this, but she is not my wife and I need to get to the bakery. She's not my wife… I shake my head at the thought. No matter how badly I wish she was mine, I know she's not. I make my way over to the door, but I notice a pile of addressed envelopes sitting on her desk. There's a picture frame in the corner of the desk and I take a closer look to see that it's the same picture that I carry in my wallet. Me in a tux and her in her green prom dress…

I try not to read into it… Everyone has a picture of their prom date right?

But as I take a closer look at the stack of envelopes that are held together by a rubber band. The first one is addressed to me. PFC Peeta Mellark…

I look back at Katniss to see that she hasn't moved and her breathing is still heavy, telling me that she's still fast asleep. I take off the rubber band and shuffle through them, reading each address to see that all eight letters are addressed to me. It's clear that they are older, probably from when I had first left for training. She wrote to me… but she never sent them. Why? I chance another look at Katniss and see that she still hasn't moved. I put the rubber band back around the stack of envelopes and make my out of her room carrying them close to my chest. I'm well aware that they probably aren't meant for me to see, otherwise she would have sent them a long time ago… maybe she doesn't really want me to read them since she never sent them.

Curiosity is getting the better of me and I keep walking. The house is completely quiet and I know that no one has woken up yet so I let myself out and head to my truck. The entire drive home, I think about turning around and putting them back without reading them, but I can't. I want to know what they say. They are addressed to me aren't they? I have every right to read them. As soon as I get into my house, I rip one open and unfold a hand written letter in Katniss' neat handwriting. The first few letters are just telling me what's been going on in Pineville since I left. She tells me about college, about meeting new friends, news from home… she tells me everything but what I want to hear the most.

Until the last letter… it's the shortest one and it actually brings tears to my eyes.

_Dear Peeta,_

_I never told you this because I was so afraid. Everyone has always known that you have always wanted to be a Marine… your brothers, your father, your grandfather… they were all Marines too and I know how much it means to you to follow in their footsteps. So I never said anything because I'm a coward. I'm a coward thinking that something could happen to you out there… thinking that I could lose you that way. I'm a coward because I don't know if you even feel the same way I do. But I do know that if I don't tell you now, I'll regret it forever._

_But I want you to come home. I want you to come home safely to me. _

_I've known you my entire life and I have always had these feelings for you that I can't explain, that I don't even understand. _

_Please come home._

_I'll wait as long as you want me to,_

_Katniss_

I set the letter down on the table and slide down onto the floor, my hands rubbing over my face and through my hair.

I can't believe this…

She's felt something for me all this time and I didn't even know. She never told me how she felt and I never told her how I felt, but still… we feel the same way. I begin to cry for the first time since that last night in Iraq. Tears run down my face as I think of Katniss writing those letters and then not sending them to me. I think of her walking around campus at college wondering if I'm doing alright, if I'm even alive. I picture some faceless guy walking up to her and asking her out, sweeping her off her feet because she had no reason to say no. She had nothing to lose because neither one of us acted on our feelings for each other in high school. And I picture this faceless man changing on her. He was the man of her dreams one moment and then the next; he was demanding and possessive, raping his own wife every night. Then he starts hitting her. I picture her fighting back… the Katniss I know would fight back with everything she has. I see her throwing punch after punch to prove to him that she can do it too, but she fails because she's so small. He's so much bigger, so much stronger than her. She gives up and she just takes it. Beatings every day and night.

I can't help her when I'm sitting on the floor crying like a baby.

I shake those thoughts out of my head and hastily wipe away any evidence that I'm a grown man that cries. I pick myself off the floor and head to the bathroom to shower and get ready for work.

We need to do something about this now… Better late than never

(Cato)

Six hours down, six more to go…

One bottle of cheap vodka down, time to open up another…

I'll be in South Carolina soon, Katniss… You better be ready for me. I'm coming whether you like it or not.

(Katniss)

"Hazelle said you had a bad night last night," Jo says to me as I watch her mix a large pitcher of lemonade for her and Gale's cookout.

I shrug, "Just a bad dream, that's all," I say, avoiding her eyes, "mama wouldn't let me leave the house. She thought I did too much yesterday."

Jo nods, "she's probably right, you know," she tells me, ignoring my rolling eyes, "Don't worry, Hazelle didn't mind your mom calling in and telling her you couldn't work. She understands."

"It's just humiliating," I admit finally, "I just want to go back to living a normal life."

Johanna nods again, "You will, brainless," she says, "It just takes some time."

A while later, people start showing up at Gale and Jo's house. I try to blend into the background, but people keep approaching me to tell me that it's so great to have me back in town. Some people ask me about going to college in Boston and very few actually even have the guts to ask me where my husband is, but I ignore that question and change the topic. Gale and Johanna are always close to my side… it's like they talked about it before that one of them has to be with me at all times. The attention makes me feel very uncomfortable.

"Oh, Katniss, you're so skinny, I feel like I could snap you in two if I hug you," Delly Cartwright gushes when she sees me. She runs up to me and hugs me anyways.

It isn't until sunset that I see Peeta's truck pull into the driveway and I watch as he makes his way to the backyard where we're all gathering. I can't help but notice how great he looks in his worn out jeans and his fire department t-shirt and work boots. He stops to talk to people on his way, always smiling and always friendly. Some things never change. Once in a while, I see his eyes land on my own and I force myself to look away as fast I can, blushing slightly. But no matter how quickly I turn away, I always catch the smirk on his face and the deep dimple in his cheek. I'm still a little embarrassed about my behavior last night. I think he can tell that I feel awkward at this get together so he makes his way towards me.

"Hey," he says when he reaches me.

I smile in return, "Hey... how was the bakery today?"

He shrugs, "it was pretty busy…" he tells me, "How was your day?"

I shrug too and I mentally curse myself for making small talk like this when I could say something to seem interesting, "uh, it was alright," I tell him, "I was under house arrest."

He chuckles, "That's a good thing, I think," he tells me, and I watch him take a look around the backyard. I can't tell if he's nervous or paranoid.

We are silent, but we continue to look at each other, neither of us really knowing what to say. Just when I'm about to start a new conversation, Finnick appears at his side and pulls him over to play horseshoes. I watch him as he walks away as he glances over his shoulder at me. I shake my head to get the thought of his body against mine last night. He felt so warm… and safe. I mentally slap myself out of my reverie. I am still a married woman… regardless of the way I've been treated; I still don't feel right letting my eyes roam over his strong body.

I also notice that the cookout becomes more enjoyable after he showed up. My mood brightens and I feel a little more confident talking to people. I'm visiting with Annie and Rue when I feel a cold and tight hand on my upper arm.

My heart stops.

I don't need to lift my head up to see who has their hand on me, I already know. I would know these vice-grip hands anywhere. Annie and Rue both looked confused, but when Cato leans down close to my ear, I watch their expressions turn to fear, like it finally dawns on them who this guy is.

"Time to go, darling," he snarls into my ear and I fight the urge to shiver.

I quickly look around the backyard. Gale is at the grill talking to Thresh. Johanna is talking to a group of her co-workers with her back to me. Peeta is playing horseshoes with Finnick, Thom and Rory.

"Let's go… now," Cato says, more firmly this time, squeezing my arm tighter and I know it will bruise.

I have a second to decide if I'll give in this time. One second to decide whether to go with him… spare myself the humiliation of being thrown around in front of my friends from high school, and probably die because he'll beat me harder when it's just me and him. Or should I stay? Should I scream? Maybe throw a tantrum… and I jerk my arm out of his grip, but he grabs my braid and tugs it harshly.

"Let go, Cato," I say, but he slaps me hard in the face… so hard that I fall to the ground.

I'm saved by Annie's sharp gasp and Rue's high-pitched scream. Everyone is looking in our direction now. Cato wouldn't dare try something now. Finnick is the first one to reach us, having just been by the coolers. He grabs Annie and pulls her away before he stands between Cato and I. I hear Rue run away from us after someone calls her name. Gale appears next to Finnick and Johanna kneels on the ground next to me, trying to help me off the ground. I feel blood dripping from my lip and I sway a little as I stand.

"I'm just here to talk to my wife," Cato says, attempting to keep his words clear, "I have divorce papers that I need her to sign."

It's a lie; I know it is… he'll say anything to get me alone with him.

"Then she'll sign them in front of us," Peeta's voice comes from behind Cato.

Cato spins around so quickly that he almost falls over, clearly intoxicated. He gets right up close to Peeta's face, but Peeta doesn't move, flinch or even blink.

"And who the fuck are you, asshole?" Cato spits.

Before Peeta can answer him, I step out of Johanna's grasp and stand between Cato and Peeta. I face my husband, but I still don't have the courage to look him in the eyes so my eyes are trained on to the grass at his feet.

"Stop, p-please, Cato," I say, trying to keep my voice strong, but I can feel it shaking just as much as I am.

"What did you say to me?" he asks me, leaning down so he's inches from my face.

I look up and my eyes meet his. I use all my strength to keep my eyes on his, "I said stop."

Before I can even blink, he shoves me backwards but I am caught in a pair of soft, warm hands before I hit the ground… Peeta.

"Ohhh…" I hear Cato's sneer, "I see how it is now…"

No one says anything. Everyone is shocked by this crazy drunk maniac who crashed a perfectly fine cookout.

"You're the Marine, aren't you?" Cato asks Peeta, but again Peeta doesn't respond.

I feel Peeta's hand on my shoulder twitch, but that's the only reaction he shows.

"Yeah, Katniss told me all about you," Cato continues and I start to feel more embarrassed than I already was, "the baker, right? Katniss' high school crush," he pauses, laughing at me and shaking his head as if I'm stupid for thinking Peeta Mellark could've ever been interested in me.

Peeta's grip on my shoulder tightens… he won't let me go. And I know he won't let Cato come any closer either.

"So you're the one fucking her now, huh?" Cato goes on, pulling out all the stops now.

I lunge forward with a new found confidence and push him as hard as I can. It causes him to lose his footing and take a few steps back.

"Stop it, Cato," I yell, "Just go home… I'm not your wife! I haven't been your wife from the moment you hit me!"

Suddenly, his large hand is wrapped around my throat and his other hand balls into a fist and connects with my ribcage and I hear and feel a crack. This wouldn't be the first broken rib he's given me. I fall to the ground gasping for breath while Peeta strides forward and punches Cato hard across the jaw. Cato doubles over, hands clutching his mouth… his back turned to Peeta. I watch closely and see Cato reaching for something tucked in the back of his belt.

"Peeta!" I scream as I see Cato pulling a gun from behind his back and pointing it directly in Peeta's face.

I don't even have time to blink before Peeta reacts, grabbing the gun so quickly that it's almost invisible, taking the clip out and throwing the two pieces aside. I watch as the clip and the gun fall on either side of the boy with the bread. I let out a shaky breath as Peeta backs Cato into the wall of the garage and I've never heard Peeta's voice so deep, so strong… and so positively frightening before.

"Get the fuck out of South Carolina, you hear me?" he says, inches away from Cato's face, "Get the fuck out and never, _ever_ come back… You will never touch her again, do you understand?"

Cato doesn't say anything, but stares back coldly. In one swift movement, Peeta punches Cato in the gut, knocking the wind out of him and he doubles over in pain.

"I asked you if you understood…" Peeta says in the same frightening tone, bending down to look Cato in the eye.

This is Peeta in Marine mode.

Cato nods once and without another look in my direction, he stumbles back to his car. Everyone watches as his car flies out of the driveway and down the road.

Peeta turns to Thresh, "You got the license plate?" he asks him.

Thresh nods once and pulls his phone from his pocket and suddenly I remember that Thresh is a county deputy, and he's calling into the department to report Cato, now that he's angry and driving drunk. He'll be pulled over within minutes and taken to the county jail, where they will learn that he has more out in his name than just a history of disorderly conduct and drinking tickets.

I don't know when I started crying, but I feel a hand on my cheek, wiping the tears away and I turn to see Johanna, Rue and Annie standing next to me.

"Come on, let's go inside," Annie tells me, grabbing my hand and locking my arm under hers for support walking up the porch steps.

Before allowing them to pull me inside, I look behind me towards Peeta and I see him pacing back in forth next to the garage, twirling the gun in one hand. He's still in Marine mode…

"He'll be okay," Annie tells me, "he'll need a minute or two to relax… he'll come find you when he's ready."

I nod and follow them inside the house, tears still falling down my cheeks.


	9. Chapter 9 Treasure

Chapter 9: Peeta and Katniss

It's been a half an hour since that asshole left. I can't seem to calm down and stop pacing. It took everything in me to not snap his neck in front of everyone at the cookout. I saw red the moment I took one of my many glances at Katniss the entire night to see a man with his hand squeezing her upper arm. My body froze and my blood boiled. I should have been the first one at her side, but I was too busy sorting out my own issues. Thankfully, Finnick and Gale got to her side quickly. And thankfully, Katniss made the decision to cause a scene, to draw attention by yanking her arm away from him. I remember the look on her face while he leaned in and said something in her ear… I could tell she was trying to decide whether to go with him quietly in order to avoid him hurting anyone else or if she should get someone's attention to help her. Now that I've seen the guy, I have more of an idea of what Katniss has gone through and I feel even worse about it. I pictured a guy who used his bare hands to frighten her, not someone who would actually use a gun on her. And he clearly had no idea how to use it, which made the entire thing so much worse.

I am interrupted from my thoughts by Gale's voice coming from behind me.

"Come on, Mellark, it's time to go inside," he says to me, "it's late and Katniss needs you."

I look around and see that we're the only two in the yard now. It's dark and everyone else has gone home.

I look up at him, but shake my head, "No… she doesn't need me, she's fine and I'm…" I pause because right now, I'm not safe for her, "I can't help her right now."

I continue to pace back and forth. Gale still stands there and with my sniper vision, I can see that his fists are balled at his sides and his jaw clenches. He has more to say to me and I wait for it to come.

"Alright, I know you have shit to work out… I can see that you're angry," he tells me. His voice is almost a yell and it stops me in my tracks, "but there is a girl in there and she is my _best friend_ and right now, there is nothing I can do for her."

He pauses, but I don't say anything.

"You're the one she wants to see… you're the one she wants to talk to and no one else has a fucking clue as to why that is," he continues, "Rue thinks she has a broken rib, but she won't let anyone close enough to take a look, alright? So yeah, you're pissed! I get it, I am too! I want to kick his ass just as much as you do, Peeta!"

"You don't understand," I tell him, my voice quiet, "I want to be in there, but-but I'm just so angry, I feel like I'm just going to snap! I could… if I saw how he hurt her, I could just…" I trail off, unable to say the words.

"You'd never hurt her…" Gale says, reading my mind, "We all know that you would never hurt her, Peeta. How could you for one second think you could?"

I shake my head, "I don't know…"

Neither of us says anything for a moment, but he takes another step closer to me and speaks in a low voice, as if everyone inside could hear his words if he spoke normally.

"Look, I know you've been waiting for her to come back here," he says, "And I know that since you've been back, you've been hoping she would show up… I know that you've been waiting for her, to tell her… to tell her what you've always wanted to say…" he pauses and looks me dead in the eye, "Well this is your second chance."

I nod slowly because I know he's right. He nods once and turns to head back inside. I take a deep breath and shake my arms as if I'm shaking out my own anger before fallowing him. Katniss is sitting in a wooden chair in the kitchen when I enter the house. Her back is to me and Rue, Johanna and Annie are all sitting close to her. Johanna sits across from her, looking nervous. Rue is kneeling in front of Katniss; I assume trying to convince Katniss to let her look at her ribs, but Katniss continuously shakes her head. Annie is at her side, running her fingers through Katniss' hair. Finnick, Thresh, Gale and Rory are all sitting at the table; each with a beer in front of them.

Suddenly, I think of something… How did he even know Katniss was here?

I walk over to the table and speak quietly to Rory so Katniss doesn't overhear.

"Rory, you should call Prim, make sure she's okay," I tell him so Katniss doesn't hear; it would only cause her to worry more.

He looks up at me with a worried expression. He hadn't thought of this either.

"Make sure he didn't stop at the house looking for her," I say while jerking my head in Katniss' direction.

Rory doesn't respond, but very quickly gets up from the table and pulls his phone from his pocket while he practically runs into the other room. I turn back to Katniss to see her hunched over in the chair, elbows on her knees and her hands covering her face while she cries. I slowly walk over to her and crouch down, wrapping one arm under her knees and one behind her back, before gently picking her up. Her arms wrap around my neck when she realizes who I am.

"Bathroom," I say to Rue when she gives me a confused look.

I carry Katniss from the room and follow Johanna down a hallway and into a bathroom. I carefully set Katniss on the counter so she's sitting up before turning back to Jo.

"Just Rue," I tell her and with a nod, she leaves the room.

I turn to Katniss and my heart breaks. Her eyes are red and puffy, her lip trembling. She's so embarrassed.

"I thought he'd be taller," I say, attempting some humor.

I smile slightly when she begins to laugh, but I panic when she winces and clutches her side in pain.

"I'm sorry," I tell her, placing my hands gently on her thighs.

I feel her tense at my touch and I quickly take my hands away, making her flinch. I curse myself at the sudden movement just made.

"I'm sorry," she says, her voice hoarse, "it's a habit."

I nod and very slowly lift my hand to her cheek. She freezes for a moment, eyes wide and locked on my own, but then she leans her head in closer to the palm of my hand and relazes, closing her eyes.

"Katniss," I say slowly, and she opens her eyes again, "you'll need to take your shirt off so Rue can check your ribs…"

She leans away from my hand and looks away, her cheeks flushing.

"I can leave," I tell her, "if you'd be more comfortable."

She shakes her head quickly, "please, don't leave."

I nod just as Rue appears in the doorway. She closes the door behind her once she realizes that I'm not leaving.

"Rue's an EMT," I tell Katniss, grabbing onto her hand.

Katniss nods, "she told me earlier…"

Rue smiles at Katniss, "Okay, you'll need to take your shirt off so I can see, is that okay?"

Katniss glances at me and then back down to the floor before slowly reaching for the hem of her shirt and pulling it over her head. My breath catches in my throat but I try to mask it by clearing my throat… if I wasn't distracted by all the bruising and scars on her body, I would think she looks extremely sexy in her lace ivory bra. But the bruises are too much and I am doing my best to hide the anger I feel inside. Her side has already begun to turn into a dark purple bruise while there are so many other bluish, yellow bruises… on her collarbone, her hip leading down into her jeans, a small bruises that look like fingerprints on her chest that I know lead under the ivory fabric. In the reflection of the mirror behind her, I can see several marks and bruises on her back… a particularly painful looking one at her tailbone.

This is definitely not the state I had always pictured her in the first time I would see her without a shirt on. I'm doing my best to mask the disgust that I feel on the inside. This is probably harder for her than it is for me. On that thought, I look at her face and her eyes are closed, her head down. There's a deep pink tint to her cheeks and I reach for her hand and squeeze it gently. She grips mine in response, but still doesn't open her eyes or lift her head up.

"Okay, Katniss, I'm going to lightly push around your ribcage, is that okay?" Rue asks softly.

Rue is a lot better at hiding her disturbance at the sight of Katniss' beaten body. But then I remember, she sees people hurt even worse than this everyday at her job. Katniss nods, biting her lip, preparing herself for pain. I watch as Rue's hand lightly pushes around the area where Cato punched Katniss earlier. I watch Katniss' face for signs of pain and I find it immediately. She jumps slightly as Rue pushes on a particularly painful spot, her brow furrowed and still biting her lip to keep from crying in pain.

"Isn't that enough?" I ask Rue, but even I know that she needs to check her lungs and breathing to indicate that nothing's broken. I just don't want to see this painful look on Katniss' face anymore.

"Katniss, I need to push on your sternum, okay?" Rue asks her again, making sure to tell Katniss where she's going to touch next to keep from scaring her.

After a few more minutes, Rue tells Katniss she's finished.

"I think it's just bruised pretty badly," she explains to her, "you'll need pain reliever… and try not to lift or do too much to irritate it further, okay?"

Katniss nods, still keeping her eyes closed. Maybe she's pretending that if her eyes are closed then she's invisible.

There's a knock on the door and Jo peaks her head in, "Kat, I talked to your dad," she tells her friend, "I told him you would be staying with us tonight and not to worry… I explained everything."

Katniss nods again. I watch Johanna enter the bathroom, carrying a pile of pajamas for Katniss to change into.

"I'll be right outside the door," I tell her, giving her hand a small squeeze.

She finally opens her eyes and lifts them to meet mine. She nods slowly, understanding that I'm not leaving her. I leave the room to allow Rue and Johanna to help Katniss change into comfortable clothes.

Rory comes up to me in the hallway, "Prim's fine," he says, "well, she's worried about Katniss now, but I told her everything was fine…"

I nod, "Good. So he didn't show up at their house then?"

He shakes his head, "no, I don't know how he could've known to come here for her…" Rory tell me, "I mean, he's been here before; the one and only time Katniss brought him home while they dated. Maybe he just figured she would be here…"

I nod, "That's possible."

But it doesn't really sit well with me. It seems odd that this would be the first place he would look for her… but then maybe it wasn't. Maybe he went somewhere else entirely at first. The door to the bathroom opens and Rue comes out first, smiling sadly at me and patting my shoulder. Thresh stands down the hallway waiting for her.

He gives me a nod, "I'll let you know when I hear from the jail to see if they picked him up," he tells me.

"Thanks," I say, running a hand through my hair.

They say goodnight to me and turn to leave. I take a step closer to the bathroom. Peaking through the crack in the door, I see Katniss sitting on the lid of the toilet, tears still falling down her cheeks. Johanna is standing behind her brushing her hair. I lean in closer to hear what they're saying…

"It's going to be alright," Jo says softly as if speaking to a small child, "you'll see…"

I hear Katniss make a sound that sounds like a scoff, "you've never been so optimistic, Jo," she says.

Johanna doesn't answer and after a moment, Katniss speaks again in a much quieter voice.

"I should have waited, you know…" she says, "Life would be so different."

I see Johanna shrug her shoulders, knowing immediately what Katniss is referring to, "Everything happens for a reason," she tells her friend, "besides, who says you can't start now?"

At these words, Katniss' tears flow faster, "No one wants damaged goods, Jo," she says bitterly, "especially someone so… so perfect."

Jo shakes her head, "He's damaged too…" she says simply, "And you know what they say, 'one man's trash is another man's treasure'…"

Johanna pauses before she adds, "And he _treasures_ you above _anything_ else."


	10. Chapter 10 Waiting

Chapter 10: Katniss and Peeta

It has been one week since the incident at Gale and Johanna's house. I haven't been left alone since. It seems that there is some sort of schedule that people have worked out. It's called the 'Babysit Katniss Schedule'. My parents are usually with me in the mornings. Then Prim and Rory during the days. Rory is very paranoid, always taking glances over his shoulder whenever we're outside in the yard or he peaks through the curtains to see if anyone is outside. But I guess he is also worried about Prim too and I'm thankful he protects her. In the evenings, Gale and Johanna come over to play cards. Sometimes Rue, Thresh, Annie and Finnick show up just to say hello. But the one person that I want to see has been noticeably absent.

This is the new routine.

Finnick very casually brings up Peeta whenever he comes over. He tells me that he's been busy with work commitments and volunteering at the fire department. Apparently there have been several field fires since the weather has been so hot. Part of me feels that Finnick is just telling me those things to ease my mind, but it wouldn't surprise me if all the drama scared Peeta away. When I feel that way, I know that I'm being silly. Something like that would never make him not want to be near me… at least I hope.

It turns out that Cato did get pulled over that night. He was carted off to the county jail and he's been there since. Thresh had told me that his phone privileges were revoked after his violent behavior with the cop who pulled him over. I'm thankful for that because I knew that as soon as he is able to call his parents, they will bail him out and he'll be released. He'll come after me for sure.

Tonight, Annie and Finnick are my babysitters.

"So he took me to the ocean, our favorite place…" Annie tells me after I asked her about how Finnick proposed to her, "he packed a picnic and while we're swimming, he pulls out a glass bottle and hands it to me. I noticed it had a letter in it so I opened it and there it was…" she smiles at Finnick, lacing her fingers in his.

"I got down on one knee right in the water," Finnick interrupts her while he kisses her cheek and smiles into her hair.

"The note said 'Marry me, Annie Cresta'," she continues to tell me, not taking her eyes off of Finnick, "and I said yes, of course."

I continue to watch them interact and I can't help but admire the love they have for each other. Cato never once looked at me the way Finnick looks at Annie. Looking back, I'm not sure if I ever looked at him the way Annie looks Finnick. And now that I think about it, I'm not sure if he ever really loved me at all. When I met him, he was smart, funny, kind and there wasn't a doubt in my mind that he wanted to be with me. Of course, I always knew that he was jealous whenever he saw me with another guy, even if it was my chemistry lab partner. And I always noticed the way he would look up and down other girl's bodies whenever we went out together. I also never missed it when he would come home smelling like someone else's perfume. Those were the nights where I would receive harsher beatings… the only nights that he wouldn't fuck me. And I always knew it was because he already done it. I was always too afraid to say anything.

I've grown up around so many people who had someone they truly loved. Someone they would die for. Someone they couldn't survive without. That kind of love is something I've always wanted. But after my relationship with Cato, that is failing miserably, I'm not sure if true love will ever happen for me. I am too damaged and it's going to be hard to trust someone again.

Suddenly Annie reaches across the table and places her hand on mine, "It's not too late, Katniss," she tells me as if she's been reading my mind.

My eyes fill with tears at her words, but I look away to hide them and shrug my shoulders, "I know… it's just that… I just thought he was different, you know?" I tell them, "And-and I gave up on something because I didn't think I could have it… and I met him and he was sweet and kind at first, but- but then," I pause at the feeling of Annie's hand squeezing mine. I look up at her, "it's like he just snapped one day. And I was there and I was the only thing he could take it out on…"

Both of them are quiet for a moment and I feel like I've said too much. But then Finnick speaks.

"But the right person wouldn't do that, Katniss," he tells me, "A good person wouldn't lay a hand on you in a way that you don't like, or that could hurt you… that's not love."

I nod because I know he's right, but this makes me think of something; maybe Cato had his own way of loving me… a sick, twisted, and fucked up way. And not the way I want to be loved. It's not the way I deserve to be loved.

"I deserve better…" I say quietly, not to anyone but myself.

But Annie and Finnick are nodding and smiling at me.

"Well, we should get going, Ann," Finnick tells her, "Katniss starts her first day back at the diner tomorrow."

I walk them to the door and stand on the front porch while they drive off in Finnick's truck down the road.

I sigh heavily as I watch the sun setting off in the distance.

Tomorrow I start over.

The next morning I wake early. I need to be at the diner at seven 'o'clock. I shower and get dressed in the same old uniform that the Wooden Spoon has had since my mother and Hazelle worked there when they were in high school. It's a light green cotton button up dress that lands just above my knees. It's got a white collar and white capped sleeves. I decide to put on a sweater to hide the bruise that is still showing on my upper arm from one week ago. I slip on the black flats that Prim is letting me borrow until we go shopping.

When I enter the kitchen, my parents are already there, making breakfast and drinking coffee. I grab an apple and take a seat at the table next to my father.

"Morning, sweet pea," he says happily, "I thought I would drive you today… I go by anyways on my way to work."

I nod even thought I know that's not true. I may have been gone a long time, but I still remember how to get to the foundry and it's not by driving through Main Street. But I don't say anything because I know he's just protecting me from having to walk or drive myself, which I haven't done since I've been home. If I want to go somewhere, someone has always been willing or I should say, insisting that they drive and go with me.

When we finish eating and we're ready to leave, my mother pulls me in for a big hug.

"If you're not ready, that's okay," she tells me quietly, "Hazelle will understand."

I shake my head, "I need this, mama."

I do need this… this is my second chance. I get to start over. I get to have a job now and I'm going to take advantage of my freedom while I have it. While Cato is in jail.

When we get to Main Street, there aren't many cars out because it's still early in the morning. There are a few commuters that stop at the coffee shop on the corner as they make their way to work however. I can't help but notice that across the street, Peeta's truck is parked in front of the bakery. My heart skips a beat when I think of the possibility of seeing him today… finally.

But immediately I shake those thoughts from my mind. Today is about moving forward… today is about me. I need this job because soon I will be twenty-three and still living with my parents. Working a job means starting to get my independence back… and eventually I can afford an apartment here in town.

"Good luck, sweetie," my dad tells me before I get out of his truck, "you'll do great."

I feel my hands shaking at how nervous I am, but I try to hide it. I lean over the consul and kiss his cheek, "Thanks, daddy."

Throughout the morning, I focus on my job. Fortunately, Hazelle assigns me to several different tables so I'm constantly going back and forth. Several customers recognize me from working here before, but when I get the usual group of older men that come in for coffee, they tease me about finding a good man who will treat me right. There's not a doubt in my mind that their wives all get together to talk about town gossip and then they go home and tell their husbands about it.

"Well, all of you are taken so I guess I'm out of luck," I tease them and they laugh along with me.

"You listen here, honey," one of the men says to me as I pour his fifth cup of coffee, "you don't need a senior citizen, you need a young man…" he pauses and winks at me, "and I know one that's right across the street from here."

I blush crimson when I realize he must be talking about Peeta.

"He's a Marine, honey," the man continues, "and the boy can bake, what's not to like?"

He laughs when he sees how blushed my cheeks are and I take this moment to go and fetch his bacon and hash browns.

Then I realize that I can't escape Peeta Mellark either. But on second thought, I don't want to.

(Peeta)

"You ready to go, man?" Finnick asks me as he enters the bakery at lunch time.

This happens every day. He meets me here at noon and we cross the street to each lunch at the diner.

"Yeah, just give me a second," I tell him as I take my empty icing bowls to the sink.

I decide I'll wash them out later because something tells me that Finnick is in a hurry. He's standing by the door looking out the window towards the diner. I also notice that he's tapping his foot anxiously.

"What's your hurry?" I ask him, taking off my apron and hanging it on a hook.

"What? I'm not in a hurry…" he says all this quickly, "Just hungry."

I roll my eyes and take my sweet time walking back to the double doors that lead into the kitchen, "Hey, pop, we're going to lunch!" I yell to the back at my father.

"Okay, bring me back a turkey bacon club!" he responds, just like every day.

I follow Finnick to the door, but before he opens it, he turns around and looks at me.

"You're not really going like that, are you?" he asks me.

I look down at my boots, jeans and grey t-shirt. Sure, there are spots of icing and flour, but who cares. We're just going to the diner. Everyone in this town knows I'm a baker anyway.

"I wear something like this every day," I tell him with a scoff.

He looks me up and down again, but seems to think its best not to say anything.

"Well, hopefully she likes you for who you are…" he tells me in a quiet voice as we cross the street on our way to the diner.

I almost ignore him, but then his words register… I stop in my tracks.

"No, Finn," I say harshly, "I thought we talked about this…"

When I first returned from Iraq, Finnick took it upon himself to casually invite women to have lunch with us for me to meet. Obviously it never worked out. And eventually, I got tired of meeting so many different girls that I knew I would never have feelings for. They weren't Katniss Everdeen.

"Relax," Finnick tells me, pulling me by the arm out of the road, "I'm not introducing you to anyone new…"

Oh, God… It's someone I've met before…

"Glimmer?" I ask him with a wince, "Please, no… that was bad enough that one time."

"Would you stop? It's not Glimmer…" he says and he pulls the diner door open.

As soon as we walk in my heart stops. How could I forget that Katniss was starting her job today? If I would have remembered, I would have been the one waiting for Finn to hurry up.

It's been a week since I've seen her… and she's never looked more beautiful to me. Of course I've seen her in this uniform a million times before, but it fit her differently back then. She was a scrawny teenager then and now she is a woman. I can't help but notice how the apron tied around her waist shows off just how thin she is and the little V at the front of the dress shows off just a little bit of the cleavage that she didn't have in high school. I watch the muscles in her legs move as she shifts from foot to foot while talking to a group of ladies that are out for lunch. My eyes travel upwards and linger on her backside for a moment until I feel a sharp nudge from Finnick…

"Come on, one of her tables are open," Finnick tells me, pushing me towards the table in the corner.

I keep my eyes on her as we sit down. She hasn't noticed us yet and I'm glad. This is giving me a chance to watch her and admire her like I used to… something I haven't been able to do in so long. My group of friends would come here every day after school to hang out and I always ordered the same thing. And I always insisted on sitting at a table that I knew Katniss was in charge of.

When she finally spots us, I notice the shade of pink in her cheeks grow deeper and she makes her way over to our table, "hey, guys," she says breathlessly.

I am sure that I hear Finnick say something and then Katniss responds and writes something on her pad of paper, but I'm not listening. I'm completely lost in her.

I'm snapped out of my reverie when I feel a sharp kick on my shin, "It's your turn to order, Peet," Finnick tells me.

Before I can place my order, Katniss speaks, "cheeseburger with the works, and waffle fries, right?"

I look up at her and try my best to not let my jaw hit the table, "You remembered?"

She smiles and leans down close to me… so close that I can smell her lavender shampoo and count every small freckle on the bridge of her nose, "I remember everything about you, Peeta."

My heart skips a beat.

The humor is not lost on me… these are the same words I told her when she came into the bakery with Johanna last week.

I look up at her to see her eyes closes, those long eyelashes touching her pink cheeks. She opens them and smiles at me, but before I can say anything else, she walks away to drop off our order. I watch her walk away with my mouth handing open.

"Shit or get off the pot, man," Finnick says sharply, taking me out of my sweet reverie once again.

I scoff at him, "you can't use my own words, Finn," I tell him, "And this is an entirely different situation."

And it's true… I said these exact words to him after he bought an engagement ring for Annie, but held onto it for over a year because he was too chicken to ask her already.

When Katniss brings our food over, we make small talk. She tells me how work is going so far and I tell her that I was planning on making raspberry cupcakes today.

"I guess I'll have to stop by after work…" she says with a wink, and I feel myself twitch slightly in my jeans.

We finish eating and when I see that Katniss is currently at the register, I tell Finnick I'll pay this time even though it is his turn. He doesn't argue.

While I'm paying, we are both acting shy around each other. I can't seem to bring myself to say what I really want to say.

_Shit or get off the pot, man, come on!_ I keep telling myself.

"Have a good day, Peeta," Katniss says while handing me my change and my father's lunch in a to-go box.

I smile at her and for a moment we just stare at each other… she's waiting for me to ask her.

But I can't…

"See you later," I say and I don't miss the small look of disappointment on her face before I turn around and follow Finnick outside.

I stand on the sidewalk for a moment with Finnick looking at me like I'm the biggest idiot he's ever seen. I take a moment to curse myself for being so stupid. I could tell she wanted me to ask her out. I could see it in her eyes, but I chickened out.

I sigh and run my fingers through my hair before looking at Finnick again, who stands there, waiting for me to make a decision.

I've already made it.

I run back into the diner to see Katniss still standing at the cash register. When she sees me, she looks up at me hopefully.

"Katniss," I say, slightly out of breath from being in such a hurry, "whenever you're… when you're ready let me know. I want to take you out on a date."

She immediately looks down, her cheeks turning even pinker as she bites her lip. For just a second, I think she's going to tell me that I'm crazy, but she doesn't.

She looks up at me and smiles shyly, "Alright."

I smile back at her, "Alright," I say, thinking that this was easier than I thought, "But you have to tell me because I can't read your mind… as much as I would like to."

She laughs… and it's like music to my ears… my favorite song.

(Katniss)

It's been a few weeks since Peeta told me he wanted to take me out for a date and we've settled into a routine. I work every day from seven until five and he always comes in for lunch with Finnick and sometimes with Annie. After work, I always stop at the bakery before going home. Peeta always has a raspberry filled cupcake waiting for me at a small table that's close to the counter where he works. Every day, I notice that table getting closer and closer to the counter he works at.

Hmm… Kind of like us. We keep getting closer and closer.

Every day, I get to watch him while he works. The bakery is the only place where he actually looks at ease, comfortable. It seems to be the only place where he allows his mind to shut off. Whenever he comes into the diner, I notice that he is always looking around the room, observing others actions, the way the dress, even their conversations. He manages to do all of this at once while keeping up a conversation himself.

I imagined this was something he picked up from being a sniper in the Marines. He has been trained to not miss a single movement, word, suspicious action… or any action for that matter. I can see that he is impeccable at this. And I remember when he told me about his last night in Bagdad where he felt as though he failed all those innocent people who died from that bomb. I see the guilt he carries on his shoulders about that night and so he uses it to not miss a thing around him, wherever he is.

There are other things about him that I have never noticed before he left for the Marines. He keeps everything clean and perfectly neat. All of his baking utensils are arranged perfectly so and the cakes he decorates are perfection. I imagine him waking up every morning and making his bed so there are no creases in it. When I think about this, I imagine doing other things _with him_ in his bed and my cheeks grow hot and I feel a heat I've never felt down at my center. My stomach often does flips whenever he comes into the diner, even though by now, I know every day at noon he will be there.

As I push the door to the bakery open today, I'm greeted with the wonderful aroma of fresh bread. Peeta is so lost in his work that he doesn't hear the bell ring at my arrival. I watch him for a moment, his long muscular arms rolling out bread dough. His brow furrows in concentration while he works and I have this unexplainable urge to kiss it.

Peeta Mellark makes food look sexy…

I walk forward and immediately see _my _chair, _my _table, _my _cupcake… and _my Peeta _finally looks up at me.

"Hey, is it five already?" he asks me with a smile as I sit down.

I nod and slowly take the wrapper off my cupcake, "we were busy today…" I say.

It's a terrible attempt at making a conversation to avoid what I really came here to tell him.

I hear him shuffling around behind the counter, the opening and closing of a cupboard and the water running. Of course, he's getting me a glass of water… another part of the routine.

He sets the glass of water down in front of me as I take a very large, unladylike bite of my cupcake. This only makes him chuckle. Cato would have slapped me and called me a pig.

No, stop… I'm not here to think about him. I'm here for a new beginning…

"Hey, Peeta," I say as he turns away to go back behind the counter, but he stops and comes back.

He smiles at me as place what's left of my cupcake down on the table.

"I, uh… I wanted to tell you something…" I begin.

His smile fades and he looks at me, waiting patiently for me to continue. He'll let me go at my own pace.

"Well, I mean… I've been thinking about how you told me a few weeks ago that… but I guess only if you still want to…" I pause, shaking my head and my stupid words.

Come on Everdeen, pull yourself together.

"Let me start over," I say, biting my lip nervously.

He nods slowly and small amused smile playing at his lips. He thinks this is funny… the boy who's always been good with words.

"You know that I'm still technically married, Peeta," I say, watching his smile fall completely and his eyebrows knit together again, "But-but I don't want that to make you feel… uncomfortable, I guess."

He holds his hand up slowly while shaking his head, "No, Katniss… that-that's not marriage. What he's done to you… that's not a husband."

I nod slowly because I think he's right…

He takes a step closer to me and softly places his hands on either side of my face, gently caressing the skin on my cheeks. He leans his head in so close that I think he's going to kiss me… he keeps getting closer and closer. My heartbeat gets faster and faster when the cinnamon and cake batter scent of him gets closer. I can almost taste it. I can feel the pulse in his strong fingers and I swear I can hear his own heart beating through his chest.

I close my eyes and wait for it, but it doesn't come.

After a moment, I open them to see that he's still so very close to me. I can feel his hands still on my cheeks and I can still smell him standing in front of me, but all I can see are his amazingly beautiful blue eyes.

Then I hear him speak in a low voice, a tone I've never heard from him before… "You should be kissed… and loved… _truly_ loved every day for the rest of your life, Katniss…"

I close my eyes tightly at his words. My breath hitches in the back of my throat and the tears threaten to fall. I compose myself before I open my eyes again to look back into his… they never left mine.

"That's all I've ever wanted…" I tell him in a quiet voice that I'm not sure he heard.

He smiles at me again now and very slowly reaches up and tucks a loose strand of hair back behind my ear. I realize he's waiting for me to say those words… I have to tell him that I'm ready for that date.

"Peeta…" I say breathlessly, "I'm ready for that date…"

I watch his face as his smile widens and his eyes shine an even brighter blue. He places his strong arms around my waist, pulls me into a hug and lift me up, spinning me around in circles as we both laugh.

After a moment, he sets me back on my feet. The laughter dies and he suddenly becomes serious.

"That's all _I've_ ever wanted…" he tells me, not taking his eyes off mine.

My heart races, my mind clouds over and I feel as though I'm back in high school again.

I've got this second chance… a do-over.

And this time, I'm not giving up.


	11. Chapter 11 Far Away

Chapter 11: Cato at the Cookout, The Date, Cato in Jail?

I knew the moment I arrived at the fucking cookout that Katniss was there. I could smell her, the amazing lavender scented shampoo she used in her long hair… I could smell her as soon as I arrived in this shitty little town she loved and never shut up about when we dated. Greenville, South Carolina- what a fucking excuse for a town. Waste of perfectly good space on a map. Since the first time I visited here, I have detested this place. I had hoped that Katniss would grow out of the love she had for her home town or maybe I finally beat it out of her, but she still loved it here. I could tell by the look on her face when she was talking to the two girls at the fucking Hawthorne party.

Dumbass Gale and his white trash girlfriend… they were nothing but a bunch of hicks. Although I do need to admit those two girls were pretty hot. I wonder if one of them would ever consider joining Katniss and I sometime. That stupid Bitch, Katniss. She thought she could actually get away with this. No one leaves me, especially my _**WIFE. **_

She is mine. I own her.

I have done everything for that whore and this is how she repays me. I've fed her, clothed her, and bought her the fucking house she wanted. She didn't even have to work, she never had to finish school… and this is what she does. She fucking leaves and makes me come all the way the _Greenville_ to drag her dumb ass all the way back to Boston, a real fucking city.

But, my God, she's so beautiful with her long dark hair. Of course, it's in its stupid braid. I always told her how much I hated that braid. She learned not to braid it or I would rip it out. She looks like heaven, if that is even possible in a place like this. She's smiling and laughing, which I haven't seen her do willingly in a very long time. Her long legs are shown off in a pair of shorts and she's looks tan, like she's been out in the sun. She looks almost radiant.

But then I notice I'm not the only one looking at her this way, like she's the most beautiful woman I've ever seen. Some guy across the yard hasn't taken his eyes off her, just like me. And that's when I look back to Katniss to see her glance in this other man's direction. She hasn't smiled or blushed like that since we were dating. She's fucking someone else? How dare she… she's my wife and she left me and she's fucking another guy.

I snap myself out of my thoughts and go to her, my hand closing tightly around her upper arm.

(Peeta)

My shaking hands hold onto her words… of course they are only the words she's written and I have yet to hear these words from her mouth. The paper is getting flimsy and slightly torn because all I do is fold it, read it, fold it back up and put it back in my wallet again. And repeat, several times a day. It's a habit that I've gotten into... it helps me get myself out of my visions of sand and heat and pain. But today is different. Today it's been sitting on my dresser as I get dressed, trying on shirt after shirt until I finally found one suitable enough for a date with Katniss Everdeen.

Holy Shit, Katniss Everdeen. I let out a shaky breath and I think about her words, which are now etched into my mind for all eternity, never to be forgotten.

_Come home. Come home safely to me. To me. _

_I'll wait as long as you want me to._

Why didn't she ever say anything to me? How did I not know? I always thought my feelings for her were pretty obvious. I never really made much time for other girls we went to school with, but Katniss. Katniss just had, still has, all of my attention. Of course, there have been women to keep me from getting lonely. To keep thoughts of her off my mind, but that's all they were. As bad as that sounds, I always knew that the few women who have made it into my bed would never stay. They would never belong there and I made sure they knew that. They just weren't Katniss.

But her horrible excuse for a husband called me her high school crush… what was that? Katniss must have trusted him enough at one point to share with him all of her secrets and parts of her past that no one knew about. He knew me. The Marine, the Baker, he called me.

_Katniss Everdeen's high school crush. _

A small, slightly ridiculous, smirk formed at the side of my mouth as I carefully folded her unsent letter back up and placed it safely in my wallet. Taking one last look in the mirror, I nodded. _This is as good as it's going to get_, I thought as I eyed my nicest worn out jeans and cleanest dark grey shirt. I just need to be myself. This won't be any different than the thousands of times we've seen each other growing up.

I have a date with Katniss Everdeen.

(Katniss)

I heard his truck as it turned onto our street and my heart did a leap inside my chest. He's here. Already? The clock says seven, so he's right on time. My shaking hands tuck a few loose strands of hair behind my ears as I take one last look in the mirror. Prim insisted I wear a skirt, so she chose one of her own to lend me. It is a feminine dusty rose color that flows down to my knees and I've paired it with a simple cream colored tank top. I've decided a simple pair of flip flops would be comfortable tonight.

I close my eyes and take a deep breath, but it does nothing to calm my nerves. Gosh, this is just Peeta. Why am I so nervous? I already trust him… he's easy to trust. With him, I'm safe and I know he won't hurt me. I don't even think he's capable of hurting me. I am more than ready to go on this date with Peeta. I wouldn't have told him yes if I really didn't think it was a good idea. But part of me still feels like it's too soon. And another part of me feels guilty… I am still Katniss Spencer, technically. So why am I even doing this? I'm a married woman.

I look down to my shaking hands… there's no ring. I left it behind, in that old life where I was beaten for every little thing I did. Beaten by someone I was supposed to trust, someone who was supposed to love me. Cato… he's still after me, I know it. They will let him out of the county jail eventually and he will be after me. He will call his rich parents, who will bail him out and he'll come after me. I cannot let my guard down. I'm not in the clear yet.

My eyes snap open at the sound of Peeta's deep, friendly laugh coming from downstairs. I smile to myself when I realize his voice has a touch of nervousness to it. And just like that, some of the tension I feel has been relieved… for now. My smile has gotten wider with every step I take down the stairs towards him. He looks sexy as hell of course in his jeans and t-shirt. When I reach him, I see his cheeks are a little red as though he's been out in the hot sun all day today. His smile matches my own in excitement and nervousness. I don't even realize we aren't alone at the bottom of the staircase until my father clears his throat. Both of our heads snap in his direction and I feel my cheeks heat as my mother and Prim smile knowingly on either side of my father, who stands with his arms crossed over his chest. He's giving Peeta a serious look.

"Do I need to give you the same talk I gave you before you took my daughter to prom, Mellark?" he asks Peeta.

"Daddy, please…" I plead, my cheeks heating even more, "I'm not seventeen anymore, you don't need to do this."

Peeta ignores my embarrassment and shakes his head at my father's question, "No, sir," he answers respectfully before adding, "I'll keep her safe."

My father nods once, but doesn't say another word. He worries too much. I grab Peeta by the arm and turn towards the door, desperately trying to get out of this situation.

"Night, mama, daddy," I say while opening the door, "Have fun at Rory's, Prim."

I hear Peeta wish them a goodnight and I think my mother tells us to have a good time, but I'm not really sure. My embarrassment and nervousness has clouded my mind. When we get to Peeta's truck, he opens the door for me and gives me a hand to climb in. This is oddly reminding me of Prom; except Peeta has a new truck and we aren't dressed up to the nines.

"I'm so sorry about that, Peeta," I tell him as soon as he buckles himself in front of the wheel, "If I would have known they would all be there at the door, I would have been down sooner. I think they forget I'm an adult now… and for what my dad said—

"Katniss, don't worry about it," he interrupts, reaching a hand across the seat and gently touching my arm, "They are protective of you, you can't blame them for that. And as far as what your dad said… it was a lot worse the first time, trust me," he adds with a wince before chuckling to himself as he starts the engine.

I laugh with him as he pulls out of the driveway and drives down our street.

"So where are you taking me anyway?" I ask him after a comfortable silence.

He shrugs with a small smile on his lips, "you'll see, but it is a bit of a drive," he says before glancing at me.

My hands are still shaking slightly and shift in my seat slightly and I know he can sense my nervousness. Instead of commenting on it, he reaches across the seat again and takes my hand, pulls it towards him and places the softest kiss over my knuckles. So soft, I'm not even sure if it really happened. But the burning it left behind is evidence.

"Tell me about your day," he says softly, resting our joined hands on his leg as he drives through town.

And I do. I tell him all about working for a few hours this morning before Johanna picked me up and together we went to the hardware store to look at paint colors for her and Gale's kitchen. I told him that I would be helping Jo paint tomorrow after working for a few hours in the morning. He tells me about his morning on his boat fishing with Finnick and how he had told Peeta that he and Annie were trying to start a family. My heart soared at the thought of Annie and Finnick becoming parents. I know they would both be great. Peeta goes on to tell me about the lake and how it's been a long time since he's been able to go fishing. Since Peeta took a rare weekend off from the bakery, he asked Finn to go fishing and spend most of the day on the lake. While he's talking, I learn how much he loves being on the lake, loves fishing and loves his boat. The boat once belonged to his grandfather who passed it on to Peeta shortly before he passed away when Peeta was only twelve years old. I can't keep myself from hoping that someday Peeta would have someone to pass his beloved boat to. That thought leads to other thoughts of Peeta with a little boy with curly blond hair and big grey eyes like my own, teaching him how to fish, drive the boat. And then that thought leads to another… a family of four; two small children with their mommy and daddy, all of them laughing and having a good time out in the sun on the boat that belonged to the father's grandfather at one time. I'm shocked at where my thoughts have lead, but they also excite me. I've never thought about having kids before. I would never have wanted to bring a child into this world. Into the life I lived in Boston. That is no life for a child and I'm thankful for the doctor who explained birth control options to me before I married Cato.

"Okay, we're here," Peeta's deep voice brings me out of my wandering thoughts.

I look up and out the window and I see that he's pulled into a dirt driveway. I don't see any buildings around, but I do see a pathway that leads through a wooded area. If we were hear any later, it would be completely dark outside, but the sky is a light pinkish, orange, which reflects perfectly off the green trees. Peeta reaches in front of me and into the glove box and pulls out a flash light. I look at him in confusion, but he shrugs and says, "We'll need it later when we head back to the truck."

I nod in understanding, but words can't form in my mouth. The nervousness is back and I'm in a situation that I can't control. I feel anxiety kicking in and my hands start to shake more.

"Stay right there, okay?" Peeta says to me while he hops out of his side of the truck.

I watch him as he walks around to my side and opens my door, reaching out a hand to help me out. I take it right away, needing and wanting desperately to feel his steady strength calm me.

"Ready, Katniss?" he asks me, his voice is full of excitement which makes me excited as well.

I nod, "Lead the way."

He does, but doesn't let go of my hand. About halfway down the path, he pulls me a little closer to him, tucking my arm underneath his.

"Don't be nervous," he tells me with a reassuring smile, "you're with me."

And just like that, I'm not nervous at all.

Eventually, the pathway becomes a wooden deck and a little ways in the distance I can see water. The deck leads to a wide open sandy area and just beyond the sand is the beautiful Lake Shaw. I can't hold in my gasp of surprise at the beauty before me. It's unreal. The pinkish orange color of the sky with the sun setting in the distance with the calm, clear water reflecting the beautiful colors of the sky. I've never seen anything so beautiful and so peaceful in my life.

"It's my favorite place," Peeta tells me as I take in the beauty around me, "my boat is over there. I wanted you to see it."

I look in the direction he's pointing and I see his beloved boat. It's small, a little old, but looks to be in very good condition. I'm thrilled that he wants to show me something that means so much to him.

"Come on," he says, gently pulling my hand.

I follow him through the sand and to the dock where his boat is tied. It's a lot bigger up close and after Peeta climbs aboard, he turns around and helps me in. And then I see his big surprise. He has set up a table and two chairs, complete with a candle. He turns away from me and uses a key to unlock a door that I assume leads into the cab. I hear him flip a few switches and suddenly there are white lights that light up above and around us, connected to the sides and deck of the boat. He's set up a completely romantic dinner for just the two of us.

I chuckle a little as he returns from the cab, carrying two beers in hand, "you've thought of everything, haven't you?"

He laughs and shrugs, "I've had time to plan this out."

I can feel the heat rise to my cheeks at his words, but I don't know what to say. For the next two hours, Peeta and I share good food, good stories and easy laughs. I find myself thinking that this feels familiar, almost like I've done this a million other times before now. It feels like just another night with someone very special to me.

(Peeta)

So far, so good. Perfect even. We're laughing and telling stories about growing up in Greenville. She's told me a little about Boston and I've even shared a few good stories about Iraq.

"So I've learned you love the water, Peeta," Katniss begins after taking a sip from her beer bottle, "and you love to fish. You love your boat, but what else do you love about this?" She motions out to the water, only illuminated by the light of the moon now.

I look out to the water while I think about my answer carefully and smile to myself, "The Marine Corps is based on the number three, right? It's the first thing you learn in basic training… three marines make a fire team, three fire teams make a squad, three squads make a platoon, three platoons make a company, three companies make a battalion and three battalions make a regimen," I explain, never taking my eyes off the water, "When you're a marine, it's your life. The men around you are your brothers, your superiors are your parents… wherever you are, and it becomes your home, even a sand pit. And-and the people back home are your children so to speak," I pause to look at Katniss to find her looking back at me, "You'd die to protect your family, brothers and sisters, and your children back home, everyone you love. Its how we're made, and its how we succeed…"

"Why the number three?" she asks me after a while.

I shrug, "Not sure, just the way it is…"

She waits for me to continue.

I point out towards the water, "You see those three lighthouses in the distance?" I ask her before she nods once, her brows furrowed in confusion, "And those three buoys?" She nods again, "Three docks and three boats on this side of the lake?" She looks at the other two boats before a small smile on her lips form in understanding, "And behind us… see those three pines?" I watch her as she turns around to face the woods and her smile widens when she eyes the three pine trees.

She looks back at me with a wide smile, but also a few tears in her eyes. And I can't look away.

"What happened to the other two… from your team, I mean?" she asks me softly.

I shake my head, "they died… from that last suicide bomber," I take a deep breath, "the one I missed."

She inhales a shaky breath and reaches across the table and takes my hand. Her eyes never leave my own and I can't wait any longer.

"Tell me about the letters, Katniss."

I watch as her face pales and immediately her eyes drop to our joined hands.

"Tell me," I plead after a few moments of silence, "Please, Katniss."

She shakes her head, a silent tear falling down her cheek from underneath her long eyelash. I lean forward and wipe it away as softly as I can with my thumb.

"Please, tell me, Katniss," I plead again.

She looks up; her eyes still shedding silent tears…

"You know," she begins in the quietest whisper, "I wanted you to stay be-beacause I needed… I _need_ to hear you say 'I love you'. Because… Damn it, Peeta, I loved you! I've _loved_ you all along!"

I'm out of my chair before she finishes her words and I'm on the floor in front of her on my knees.

"I kept dreaming you'd be with me and you'd never go to Boston, Katniss," I tell her quickly, "I was so far away for so long but you know- _you know_… _I love you_ and I missed you. And- and I wanted _you_ to stay, I prayed that you'd be here waiting for me."

A sound between a laugh and a sob falls from her lips as she leans her forehead against mine. We hold onto each other desperately. I'm wiping her tears away with my hands and we're both smiling like idiots. I pull my head away from hers and look into her eyes. Her radiant smile turns sad.

"I'm sorry I didn't wait, Peeta," she tells me through her tears, "I should have waited… I've regretted that every day since I went to Boston. I should have waited for you. To be with you."

I shake my head, "No, Katniss, you didn't know- I didn't know I would be coming back," I pause and pull her into my arms tightly, "I was gone for so long, no one knew… and I would have wanted you to try and be happy…"

"I can't be happy without you… I tried, Peeta," she tells me sadly, "_I need you!"_

I nod, "I need you too, Katniss."

We're both silent and we clutch each other tightly. After a few minutes, I lift my head to look at her and she's looking back at me with those grey tearful eyes.

"Let me kiss you, Katniss."

I watch as light pink blushes her cheeks, "Please, Peeta," she says and it's almost a whimper.

I know the feeling. She's waited for this as long as I have. I slowly lean forward, never taking my eyes off hers. I feel her hot breath on my cheeks as I lean in and I can't wait any longer. My lips connect with hers and the effect is immediate. An electric current shocks me and travels through my lips, down my stomach, down both legs and to my toes. I feel Katniss shiver slightly and I know she feels it too. Our lips separate, but I don't- _I can't_- move away from her. We stay there, neither of us moving. The only sound we both hear is each other's breathing.

Until I break the silence and whisper in her ear, _"I've loved you all along…"_

(Cato)

"Spencer!"

My head pops up at the sound of my name. I get up from my cot and make my way over to the door of my cell, where a jail deputy is there waiting for me.

"You made bail," he tells me.

I can't keep the smirk off my face as I watch him unlock the door, letting me free.


	12. Chapter 12 Love

Chapter 12: Peeta and Katniss, Cato

The lights on the boat are perfect for dancing so once Mumford and Sons 'Sigh no More' comes on the radio, I ask Katniss to dance. She laughs at first and I laugh at the cheesiness of it all too. But it's clear to me now that Katniss was never treated properly and that includes all the silly, corny date clichés.

I hold her close and spin her around until she's laughing loudly, that carefree and real laugh that I remember from when we were younger. Her dress lifts in the right places with her movements and towards the end of the song, her laughter dies when her eyes connect with my own.

She watches me, her eyes wide and I hate that they hold a very small amount of fear in them.

I gently pull her closer to me, my arm wrapping around her and holding her close to my body. My other hand makes its way upwards, starting at her collarbone, following the line of her neck until it's found its home tangled in her hair at the nape of her neck.

We stay like this for a while, cheeks pressed together and eyes closed because we both just want to feel.

After a while, I can't help myself any longer and my head falls lower to where my lips connect with the skin just behind her ear right before I hear a sharp intake of breath leave her lips. The sound awakens me and I can feel myself coming alive in my jeans. I allow my lips to slowly leave a from Katniss' ear to her cheek, to the corner of her mouth. It's when I get to the corner of her mouth that Katniss seems to come alive as well. She turns her head just slightly and we make eye contact again. Her eyes are wide and cloudy and it might just be me, but I think her breaths are coming harsher. And then I realize that I'm breathing hard too.

We reach for each other at the same moment, our hands weaving through each other's hair and my arm around her waist if gripping her closer and closer to me, as if she can't get close enough. Our lips and mouths and tongues match each movement. Her mouth is hot and wet and tastes better than I ever imagined it would.

We grip each other as if our lives depended on it, both desperate to feel every inch of each other.

I haven't really registered what's happening until Katniss has my shirt over my head and is feeling my upper body, gripping tightly to my right bicep, as if keeping herself balanced. My mouth leaves another trail from her cheek down the defined line of her collarbone while my hands find the hem of her shirt. I pull away long enough to look into her eyes and find that this is what she wants. She's nodding and breathing heavily while I lift her tank top over her head, leaving her in a lacy white bra that glows in the moonlight against her olive skin. I groan at the sight of her before me, never having seen anything so beautiful in my life.

She tucks a loose strand of hair behind her ear as I take her in.

"Don't be afraid," I tell her with a small smile, "It's just me."

She visibly relaxes and her eyes skate over my body while mine are still taking in hers. I can see every faded bruise; most of them gone, but a few were bad enough to still be visible. She has several scars that break my heart all over again. But then I remember I have them too…

"Look," I tell her, lifting my arm and showing her the long scar that starts under my shoulder and onto my back, "Shrapnel, from a car bomb," I explain at the worried look on her face, "It doesn't hurt anymore."

She nods up at me and I'm about to lower my arm, but she stops me, her hand slowly tracing over the tattoo that I had gotten right before going off to Iraq the first time. I watch her as she reads it once and then she looks up at me again, confused.

"'_And all the birds stop to listen…'_ What does that mean? It is a song?"

I lower my arm then and shake my head, "No… no, it's not a song."

I got the tattoo before being deployed. I wanted it to be in a place that not everyone would see it, although I had to explain it to a few of the guys and it was always like this, 'a special girl back home has the voice of an angel' and then I would point to my ribcage.

She straightens back up to look me more in the eye, "Then what is it?"

There's a long pause as I think about what to tell her and then I realize that there's no way I can lie to this woman.

"It's you."

(Katniss)

My reaction is immediate, like deep down I already knew the answer to that question.

I kiss him. He kisses me back just as passionately and I press myself fully against him as I open my mouth eagerly under his assault to let our tongues tangle together. His hands roam the length of my body and I whimper into his mouth as he cups my ass through my skirt, grinding lightly against me as he does and the feeling takes my breath right from my lungs. He is so incredibly hard for me.

He guides me towards the cab of the boat where there is a small bed; small but big enough for the both of us. We stand in the crowded room, mouths connected and tongues tasting. His strong hands grip my ass, one lifting my skirt up and the other squeezing the flesh there, but not enough to make it hurt.

His hands then search my skirt for the zipper and when he finds it, he unzips it slowly while watching my face for reaction. When I'm left in only my white bra and light grey panties, Peeta's eyes are a dark shade of blue, matching the midnight sky outside. He licks his lips as he backs me up towards the bed and lays me down gently on top of the covers. I tug him down on top of me, and he settles between my thighs. My legs instinctively come up to cradle his hips, and I roll mine up into him, earning a low moan from him in response.

His right hand comes up to slide the strap of my bra off my shoulder and his lips follow the movement, leaving a trail of wet heat that I can feel all the way down to my core. Once my bra is removed completely, the skin-to-skin contact feels impossibly good, especially when Peeta begins trailing kisses down the side of my neck again. I writhe beneath him, gasping as he reaches my breasts, swirling his tongue around my right nipple while caressing the left with his strong, perfect hands.

It feels amazing but I need so much more than that right now.

"Peeta," I whimper, barely recognizing my voice with how wanton I sound.

I reach down to the button on his jeans, clumsily undoing the button and then trying the zipper, but my hands are shaking so badly.

"It's okay," Peeta says, sitting up between my thighs.

He takes my hands and kisses them in turn, "We don't need to go any farther, Katniss, I can see how nervous you are."

I shake my head, "I-I've never done this, Peeta."

He looks at me, clearly confused.

"I mean, I've never… I've never _wanted_ someone, not like this," I tell him, not even making sense to myself.

He smiles at me, the left side of his cheek raised higher than the other as if that's the best news he's ever received.

He takes my hand again and leads it back to the front of his jeans, where he helps me slip the zipper down and he stands and pulls his jeans off completely, leaving him in only a black pair of briefs.

He nods to my panties, "May I?"

The fact that he's asking permission only makes the wet heat in my core simmer even more. I have never felt this way before and I've certainly never been this aroused.

I nod and he reaches for my panties, pulling them down my legs and throwing them somewhere behind him, never taking his eyes off the area he's just uncovered. And then I reach for his briefs and looking up into his eyes, I slide them down his legs and he's bare before me. The sight of him, naked, hard and beautiful, takes my breath away completely. He's long, of course, but what surprises me is the girth of it. I lick my lips and look up at him. He is staring at me much the same way that I cannot stop looking at him, and when his eyes finally lift to meet mine, they are nearly black with lust. I have never given much consideration to my appearance, especially when I haven't been told I'm beautiful or sexy in well—ever. But when Peeta looks at me like this I feel like a goddess, like the most beautiful woman in the world because I know that he truly thinks that about me. Because he tells me so…

"You're so fucking beautiful, Katniss," he practically growls, sending shivers up my spine, as he gently slides two of those perfect fingers of his between my legs while moving in to kiss me once more.

He touches me expertly, circling my most sensitive spots with a meticulous baker's precision. Before long I am panting, moaning his name mindlessly as he brings me closer to the edge.

"Please," I beg, and without warning his fingers stroke that nerve… once, twice—in just the right spot and I fall, stars exploding behind my eyes as I grind my hips blindly into his hand, completely unaware that I'm doing so.

Then I realize… that's never happened to me before.

Peeta's mouth then connects with my nipple, taking it into his mouth and lathering it with his wet tongue. When he switches to the other, the cool air that hits that lathered nipple causes goose bumps to rise all over my body and another wave of wet heat runs straight to my center.

"You have no idea how long I've wanted to do these things to you, Katniss," Peeta tells me slowly as he leaves a wet trail along the length of my torso, stopping every now and then to admire little details of my skin, "Every time… it sounds awful, but-but I could only think of you, no matter who I was with… I've only ever wanted you, to kiss you, touch you, make love to you…" I watch as his eyes grow even darker, "And-and one of these days, Katniss, I want to _fuck_ you."

My insides grow hot at the very idea, even though that's the only kind of sex I've ever experienced. But something tells me that even _fucking_ with Peeta would be the very same as making love.

"But tonight, Katniss," Peeta goes on, right as his head dips between my legs, "I just want to make you come."

(Peeta)

She takes a loud and abrupt breath when my mouth latches onto her clit. And it's unlike anything I've ever tasted. She's sweet, yet has the earthy taste that tastes only like her. The wetness is just pouring out of her, she wants me so badly, but tonight… it's not time for that just yet.

"God, Katniss," I groan against her before burying his face between her legs.

I slide two fingers inside her and she cries out sharply, the stimulation almost too much to take. Her hand fists tightly in my hair and the other in the sheets beside her, her hips writhing in time with the movements of my mouth, tongue and teeth. I place my free hand on her abdomen, holding her down, so that I can please her exactly how I want to; then, when I feel her walls tighten around my fingers, I close my lips on her clit as I crook my fingers inside her and all she can do is chant my name as I send her flying over the edge for the second time.

I kiss my way back up her body as she calms down, coming down from whatever high she was on. When her breathing evens out, she looks at me with the dreamiest smile I've ever seen then she suddenly turns shy again, sitting up and turning to look at me, her cheeks red and her hair sticking in all sorts of directions. And she laughs…

"What's so funny?"

She shakes her head, but I completely forget about what she's laughing about when she pushes me back against the wall of the cab before straddling my thighs, my cock standing straight up right between us.

"Show me how to touch you, Peeta," she says quietly.

I almost come all over her stomach right then and there.

"Touch me exactly how you want to touch me, Katniss."

She obliges and I can't help but buck my hips as her small hands grip me tightly. She starts pumping me slowly before taking her other hand, licks it and then uses both hands to get me to that point. It doesn't take long because she's so incredibly sexy and she doesn't even know it.

We kiss as my hips buck upwards, meeting her hand movements. But when I'm close, it's so overwhelming that I can hardly breathe. I pull away from her lips and my mouth goes to her throat as she finishes me off and I spill myself all over her abdomen, my milky seed glowing in the moonlight against her skin just like her bra did before.

She's smiling again when I look up at her.

"God, you're amazing… and I'm in love with you."

And she says the words I've been dreaming of hearing since I was a kid, "I love you."

(Cato)

As I make my way over to that shithead Gale Hawthorne's house, I pray that she's there without the Marine. Not that I'm afraid of him, but it would make things a hell of a lot easier if someone that wasn't trained to kill was there. Gale is tough and he'd put up a good fight, but I'm sure I could take him. Besides, last I knew he worked nights at the foundry here in this sorry excuse for a town.

She better fucking be there. It was hard enough to go to her parent's house the first time I came down here. I don't want to go there again.

As I pull over to the side of the road, I can see that there aren't any light on in the house. It looks as though no one's home tonight.

God, damn it.

I pull away from the curb quickly, speeding down the road in search of a liquor store and finally I see one. I park and hop out of the car, disgusted by the state of this run down store, but at least they had vodka. I go in and pick out three large bottles before paying the cute girl at the counter.

I smile at her, but she only glares at me. I look at her name tag, Vivian.

"That's a nice name, Vivian," I say, trying my best to put on the moves.

I watch her as she melts, and she starts batting those eyelashes at me.

"And who are you?"

"Cato," I tell her, leaning over the counter and she copies me, giving me a great view of her cleavage in that low cut shirt of hers.

About twenty minutes later, I'm fucking her in the backseat of my car.

It's not quite the same as fucking my wife, but it does the job. But I do miss Katniss. She's so much tighter than this slut and she just takes what I give to her, anything and everything. While I'm plunging into Vivian, I can't help but imagine if someone else is fucking Katniss right now, making her come all over them. The thought makes me go into Vivian harder and I pinch her tits roughly.

"Ouch, you're hurting me," she gasps, but I continue, because nothing gets my blood boiling at the thought of Katniss being fucked by another man.

Probably that fucking Marine.

Afterwards, as Vivian practically runs away from my car in tears, I open up the first bottle of vodka and I try to drink away the images of the two of them together in a bed, or a car, in the shower… but the images keep coming and I keep drinking.

And then I make up my mind and make my way over to the Everdeen's.


	13. Chapter 13 Pain

**a/n: Hello again, sorry for the delay. This chapter was difficult to write because 1.) The letter D on my laptop keeps sticking and 2.) Because I'm a little worried about offending people with this chapter. This is where the violence and language gets a little worse. Please, if you insist on reading further, remember that I warned you. It's going to get nasty.**

Chapter 13: Katniss and Peeta

As I walk to the front door of my parent's house, I feel Peeta's eyes on me. He wants to make sure I make it into the house safely. I can't help my keep the silly smile off my face as I walk away from his truck. And when I look back to see him watching me, just as I expected, my smile only grows wider until I'm beaming back at him. His answering grin is just as wide. We stare at each other for just a while longer because neither one of us can look away.

It's very early in the morning… the sun just rising. I've just had the best night of my life and now it's come to an end, but with promises from Peeta that he would stop by later today after we're both done with work. As I look at his blue eyes, still so bright even when we're this far from each other, I am overcome with a thought… a thought that I haven't had in a very long time.

I am worthy of this man… I deserve him and his love. He truly loves me and I know that he would never hurt me. I deserve to be happy with him. It's the look in his eyes right now that make me feel this way. He looks at me with so much intensity, so much desire and love. And his eyes make me believe that for the first time in five years; I deserve to be happy.

Before I can turn around and continue walking to the house, he's out of his truck. He's walking towards me and his blue eyes haven't left mine. When he reaches me, he places a hand around my waist and the other around to the nape of my neck as he gently pulls me towards him, his mouth hot against mine. His hands tighten on me, but not in pain… it's the most delicious feeling. He pulls away and smiles, but only for a brief moment before his lips are on mine again and he dips me low, holding me right above the ground, his lips never leaving mine until he whips me up to my feet again. He grabs my hands and twirls me once until I'm no longer facing him, but my house. He holds me close to his chest, his breath heavy and hot right next to my ear.

"See you later, Katniss," he says, and it's such a wonderful promise.

He swats my behind playfully and it makes me jump, but I liked it. I turn around and he's walking back to his truck and I remember that I need to get ready for work. I hurry into the house, smiling like an idiot the entire time. I look back once more as I close the door behind me and watch him pull away through the glass panes.

"He seems like a nice guy…"

My heart drops and I can feel my face pale when I recognize that voice. My breathing instantly picks up and panic rises up inside me. He's here? But how did he get in? Oh my God, my parents… Prim? I don't turn around to face him just yet, because I'm not willing to accept that he's really here.

"You've never smiled like that with me," he says.

And I can tell that he's been drinking… I can smell the vodka from here and his words are slurred. And before I can answer, I feel him right behind me, his breath so close me my ear. Peeta was just doing this, but with him, I was safe and I only wanted to snuggle closer. Right now, I cringe and move away only slightly, but enough that Cato notices. He's eerily calm… a red flag.

"I knew the moment I met you, you were nothing but a slut," he says next, the words biting into me, "tell me, did you like the feel of him moving inside your slutty hole, Katniss?"

I cringe again at the way he talks about it and I quickly dodge out from his grasp, taking several quick steps away from him. He's slow in his drunk state. He blinks at me in surprise.

"Wh-where's my family?" I ask, taking a deep breath.

He smirks, "safe and sound in their beds… I got to say, baby, you're little sister isn't so little anymore. She's gorgeous…"

His tone is so suggestive that I want to vomit. But if he's telling the truth, maybe she is safe. I look around the living room for inspiration on what to do next. I need to get him away from my family.

Distract him. Don't panic.

"Y-you came to get me?" I ask him, trying to keep my voice light and hopeful.

His brow furrows and he cold blue eyes, so unlike Peeta's, stare at me as if not really comprehending what I've just asked.

"I-I want to go home, Cato," I tell him.

He takes a deep breath and I watch him. He's sweating, breathing hard and looks very confused. He expected a fight.

"Take me home."

And I know I've got him. He blinks once then his hand reaches out and he slaps me hard across the cheek. I gasp in pain, clutching my burning cheek. He grabs my arm and I watch him as he opens the door and pulls me out of the house after him. I follow without a word and without a fight. With any luck, no one would have woken up and heard us. My family wouldn't interfere and get hurt because of me.

(Peeta)

I've been kneading dough for almost an hour. I swear I have a dopey grin plastered on my face as my brother keeps pointing out, but I could care less. I have never been so happy in all my life. Katniss is here, she's safe… she loves me and I'm seeing her again tonight.

It's hard to concentrate on my work as I think about her naked body in the moonlight last night. I've never seen anything so perfect in my entire life. I think about the things I said to her, admitting to her that even when I was with other girls, I would only think of her… it was the truth. And I admitted all of the things I've always wanted to do to her.

_I want to fuck you, Katniss._

I cringe. God, that probably scared the shit out of her.

And then instantly, my ecstatic mood is gone and replaced with visions of Katniss being slammed against a wall by some faceless man, but he's not a man… he's less than a man. The vision shifts to a body ramming itself over and over into my Katniss. I slam down the dough onto the table in frustration.

_No, stop…_

But then all I can hear is Katniss saying those words herself, over and over again.

No. Stop. Please. Stop

And the vision shifts again… I'm in Iraq completely unaware that he's doing those things to her. Another shift and suddenly, it's me and her. I am repeatedly pounding into her all the while holding her roughly against the wall. And I'm fucking her… I'm no better than him.

_No. Stop. Please. Stop._

"Fuck!" The visions all stop when the sound of glass shatters against the wall.

"Christ, Peeta! What the fuck?" It's Ty, my brother.

I look at him and my father who stands close by him. They look worried, but yet they understand. I'm hot and sweating and breathing heavily, looking around the kitchen. The shattered glass was thrown against the wall and the pieces scattered all over the kitchen floor. I look up at my bother and dad again, feeling guilty now. I open my mouth to apologize, but before I can say anything, my pager goes off.

There's a loud beep followed by a voice, "11-83 on county highway 84 going north outside of Pineville, two passengers with possible injuries… ambulance in route to location. No fire needed."

I turn my pager down so it's a little quieter and I get back to kneading dough, the thought of the visions I just had are still fresh in my mind and my hands continue to shake. Thankfully, Ty breaks me out of my own thoughts once again.

"Peet," he sounds panicked.

I look up at him. He's standing there looking at me, his brow furrowed and his mouth open, he's at a loss for words. I watch him swallow.

"What is it?" I prompt.

"Thresh called… Rue's been dispatched to that accident," he explains in a low voice, "It's Katniss."

I snort, "Katniss is at work," I tell him, but I still walk over to the window to look over at the Wooden Spoon.

"Thresh is at the scene, Peet," he tells me again.

I shake my head unwilling to believe what he's telling me. But for proof, I wipe my hands on a towel, take off my apron and leave the bakery. I sprint across the street and burst through the door of the diner, desperately searching for that long dark braid.

"Peeta," Hazel says, her voice filled with worry, "Peeta, I've been meaning to call over… Do you know? Is Katniss not feeling well today?"

My heart drops, "No, no, where is she? She's not here?"

Hazel claps her hand over her mouth, her eyes wide, "No, is she alright? I tried calling home and there was no answer."

(Katniss- just a half hour earlier)

I sit in the passenger's seat of Cato's car, frightened out of my mind. His hand is still gripping my arm as he drives and he swerves all over the road, drunk. For the last twenty minutes, I've been trying to hash out a plan. I can't really do this… at first I thought I would just come quietly, but I can't. He's away from Pineville now, away from Peeta and my family. This is it… without thinking first; I quickly snatch my arm away from his grasp and punch him as hard as I can. I feel my hand break as my fist hits his ear and he yells and the car swerves.

"You fucking bitch! What the fuck!"

His hands leave the wheel and suddenly he's reaching for me, his fists slapping and punching me wherever he can reach. The car continues to swerve all over the road, until we take one last spin and the car comes to an abrupt halt. My head hits hard against the window and the last thing I see is Cato, who never put on his seatbelt, flies through the windshield.

(Peeta)

I'm flying down highway 84 in my truck, Finnick in the passenger's seat beside me. I haven't said more than two words since I've learned that Katniss disappeared and has just been in a car accident. When dispatch said there were two people in the accident, I realized that Katniss was probably forced to leave with him. And remembering the way he smelled of alcohol that night at the cookout, I'm sure that asshole was probably drunk again. And driving with Katniss is the car… putting her life in anger once again.

I slam my fist against the steering wheel and push my foot hard on the accelerator, wanting to get to her faster.

When we finally get to the scene, there are cop cars, two ambulances and a tow truck. I quickly park my truck and Finn and I both jump out, running over to the black car that's found its way wrapped around a tree. A still body lies on top of hood, blood everywhere… unmoving.

"Hey, hey!" a voice yells at us, "You can't be here!"

I look around to see a county police officer giving us an annoyed glare, but then Thresh comes out from behind the ruined car.

"He's with me, Boggs," he tells the other cop.

I nod gratefully to Thresh and go over to him.

"Where is she?" I demand immediately, "Is she okay? Where is she?"

"Easy, Peeta…" and he motions for me to follow him around the car.

When we get to the other side, I finally see her. She's sitting on the ground at the rear tire of the car, bruises already forming on her flawless skin. She's pale, shaking and covered in blood. Rue is kneeling in front of her, cleaning a gash on Katniss' head. The sight of her… breathing, eyes open, alive… brings me to my knees in front of her. That's when she notices me. Her eyes widen and fill with tears.

"Peeta," she gasps, her voice barely audible, as if she's been screaming for help but no one could hear her.

"I'm here," I tell her, reaching for her.

Her hands go around my shoulders before she gasps in pain and holds her hand to her chest.

"Shh… I'm sorry, are you okay? I'm sorry," I tell her, desperately searching for more injuries.

"M-my hand," she says, through her sobs, "I think it's broken."

I reach for her hand and gently hold it up. It's definitely broken. I look over her again as she clutches my shirt with her good hand. I tally her injuries; broken hand, head wound, bruises cover her left arm and in her skirt I can see cuts and bruises forming on her legs. I look back at her face to see her eyelids slowly closing and her grip on my shirt loosens.

"Katniss, stay with me…" I panic, "Katniss! No!"

Her eyes close and she slumps against me, completely unconscious.

"It's okay, Peeta," Rue tells me, "it's the shock, she needs rest."

Rue grants me permission to ride along in the ambulance with her and she's informed me that Katniss' family will meet us at the hospital. But before I climb into the back of the ambulance with her, I watch the other EMTs load her husband's body into a black body bag.

How many times have I seen people being loaded into body bags? I've lost count, but it's nothing I will forget in a hurry. And I definitely will never forget this one. Not once… in the many dead bodies I've seen, have I ever felt as though the person deserved it. But he does. And my girl is finally rid of the man who hurt her… kept hurting her. He was supposed to love her forever.

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